"To Do" lists are so overrated

Me: "I just finished 3 miles."
You: WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: "AND I read my scriptures today."
You: (thunderous applause)
Me: "AND I went to the temple."
You: SHUT UP! That is like the most amazing think anyone has ever said and we are so blown away by you that we are clapping and hollering as if we are at the SuperBowl.

(I promise not to do this "Rachel Ray" thing all the time, but tonight it just seemed fitting.)

My house still isn't ready for mi mama y mi papa.
I forgot to stop at the dry cleaners.
I lost my drivers license and haven't found time to look for it.
I've got program timelines for the May events to finish.
I still have 100 pages of a manuscript to read for a meeting tomorrow.
I didn't finish my expense report.
I need to finish the last few loads of laundry.
I've got church stuff to do.

It's not often I feel like I have a perfect day.
But, today, it was pretty darn close.

I should not do my "to-do" list more often.

If life were like the Rachel Ray show

I have absolutely nothing against Rachel Ray.
In fact, she borders on adorable in her cooking shows.
I think she's a not-so-great talk show host, but that's just my jealousy talking.

BUT

I just hope she knows she's not living in reality.

I took the day off today (well, after working for 2+ hours this morning). It was in everyone's best interest, really. It was supposed to be just a nice "catch up" day but it turned into a "really? this job makes me tired" day...and so...yeah...it's just good I'm home.

BUT

I had Rachel Ray on in the background while I was cleaning my kitchen.
And what I heard went something like this...

Rachel: "And then, you add the sauce..."
Audience: WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rachel: "And you spread it around like so"
Audience: (thunderous applause)
Rachel: "And don't forget to add the cheese on top"
Audience: SHUT UP! That is like the most amazing thing anyone has ever said and we are so blown away by you that we are clapping and hollering as if we are at the SuperBowl.

And as I listened to the ridiculous over-the-top enthusiasm for CHEESE, people...for crying out loud, we're talking about applauding someone for adding CHEESE???
I couldn't help but envision this...

Me: "I just finished deep cleaning my kitchen so my mother doesn't see what my house is really like when she's not here" (they are coming TH night and I can't wait).
Audience (i.e. all of you): WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: "And I did a full 4 miles this morning"
You: (thunderous applause)
Me: "and I flirted with a boy Saturday night"
You: SHUT UP! That is like the most amazing thing anyone has ever said and we are so blown away by you that we are clapping and hollering as if we are at the SuperBowl.

Now, seriously...
wouldn't that be totally ridicu....

Hmmmm.
You know what?
I think life should be like the Rachel Ray show.
I think I'd really like that.
I'm officially living all week like it is.

Thunderous applause yourselves silly.

He & I

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee,
and shew thee great and mighty things,
which thou knowest not."
Jeremiah 33:3

He has answers when I have none...
and He gives them to me.

He sees what is hiding from from my view...
and He makes it clear.

He is great when I am small...
and through Him, I am more.

He is mighty when I feel weak...
and He grants me strength.

He knows what I do not...
and He shows me truth.

He and I.
Becoming a WE.

Good Morning, Sunshine.

When I said my prayers this morning and talked to the Lord about some of the things in my heart, I had no idea he'd give me so much of what I needed (I'm such a sucker for a good "Good Morning, Sunshine" from a nice boy. yeah. really. great way to start a day.)...including this new little bundle fresh from heaven. Introducing Sophia Jenee Hall born tonight. Mom & baby are doing great...after an amazing attempt by Tam at pushing a not-so-little girl... that ended in a c-section. Just felt good to be in the room when new life was TRYING to come.

This is my gorgeous flicka right before the 2 hours of pushing began:I was SO proud of her tonight. SHE IS STRONG!
And this is Jim. Oh, how I love Jim. He is totally kind to let me invade their lives. And watching him help Tam through this? Yeah...I love Jim.

So, a very good day that ended in a very good way.
And now, tomorrow, I'll hold little Sophia and say:
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE.
(did I mention I'm a sucker for a good "Good Morning"?)

What really matters to me.

There's been a lot of talk in the past few weeks about Mormon Temples.

I've never been one to "push" my religious faith on people. And I'm certainly not one to bring temples up in conversation. I'll answer questions, if asked...but it's not something I've freely talked about.

But, that's all changing for me.

I recently posted the following clip on my facebook page with a message that just said, "For my friends of all faiths...just in case you're curious."

And yesterday, I got the following note from a great guy I went to high school with:
"Thanks for putting up that video on the Temple. I found it very informative and insightful. While I am not Mormon, I certainly admire the dedication that I see in almost every Mormon I have ever met. In fact I do not think I have ever met a Mormon that was mean-spirited... I grew up Methodist, and over the past several years of just sort of drifted around... the video kind of got me grounded again.... there are things bigger than us out there, and maybe even powers above us that actually care about us!"

This weekend, I had some "temple time" and, because of some things going on in my life, it was a reassurance that the Lord is SO keenly aware of me. I just don't know that I would know that as clearly without the Temple in my life.

And then today...
I was privileged to participate in a dedicatory session of the new Draper Templein the Salt Lake Valley. And granted, I have a unique connection because of my current Church assignment, but even without that, my feelings are intense tonight because...

The Temple provides me:
-an escape from the world
-a reminder of who I really am & why I'm really here
-perspective on life as a 37 yr old single woman
-and the realization that I won't always be
-a reason to be chaste
-peace amidst trouble
-protection from harmful influences
-an understanding of the power of promises
-a connection to my Father in Heaven

I am so grateful today for the privilege of knowing that God, who has always had temples for His children...still has temples for His children today.

ALL of His children.

Which is why, I'm not going to be shy when it comes to talking about temples anymore. All of His children deserve to know of the blessings of His Holy House.

And so...
To my friend in high school: there IS something bigger than us out there.
To the next person who sits by me on a plane & asks the most innocent question about "the Mormons": I apologize in advance if I talk too much
To my friend who is struggling in her marriage: let your covenants protect & direct you
To my current little crush (yes, I fear I have one): thank you for loving the temple as much as I do. it's refreshing...and encouraging
To my youth council: you matter to me because the temple matters to me.

It really really matters.
To me.

God's rest

"...[rest] means entering into the knowledge and love of God, having faith in his purpose and in his plan, to such an extent that we know we are right, and that we are not hunting for something else...The man [or woman] who has reached that degree of faith in God that all doubt and fear have been cast from him, he has entered into 'God's rest'" (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 58).

I might be tired.
But.
Every now and then...
I have rest.
I really really do.

I'll tell you WHY....

Because I think EVERY youth 12-18 NEEDS...really actually NEEDS this amazing new book from one of my favorite people. I just can't say enough good about it.
I think the first printing is going to go FAST.
Pre-order yours today. (sorry if that felt like a commercial...but this deserves one.)

Dear Future Hubby: We're naming our firstborn Delta

(I'm actually taking a 5 minute lunch break to post this happy news.)

The following letter was actually sent:

March 11, 2009
TO: Delta Airlines
RE: SkyMiles # xxxxxxxxxxx

My name is Laurel Christensen. To the best of my knowledge I have been your typical run-of-the-mill faithful Delta customer for the past 3-4 years. I live in Salt Lake City. I travel frequently for work. And when I need to fly, I always fly Delta. I’m also responsible for a 12 person production and presenter team that fly on average to 20 cities around the country. Because I am a faithful Delta customer, I make them fly Delta too.

I share that background only to say that I was shocked to find out on my flight last weekend that I was no longer Silver Medallion and SO frustrated when I found out I was less than 1500 miles short of earning it. I knew there had to be some mistake because I’m always easily over 30,000 miles. And so I researched every flight I took last year and to my dismay, it was correct.

In an effort to save money last fall for my company, for the first time I flew SouthWest several times. Losing those miles from my SkyMiles account is what caused me to not qualify.

With all of the emails I get from Delta, if I had received ANY notification that I was so close to losing my medallion status (which is the very reason I fly Delta), I would have spent the extra $100 or so on those previously mentioned SW flights and chosen Delta, hands down. Is there not a way you can notify Medallion members as to their status at the end of the year so they aren’t just surprised when they get to the airport?

While I realize you have policies that allow you to run a smart business, the thought of waiting all year to re-earn my status is unbearable to me. And so I’m pleading with whoever reads this fax to consider me as an individual customer for the following reasons:

1. I was supposed to fly to Great Britain last summer but had to cancel the trip due to a family emergency. I recently remembered I still have that ticket and credit (see attached) that must be used by June 3rd. I will not be able to use it and yet you were still be paid as if I did. Had I taken that flight, I would easily be over the 25,000 mile minimum. I would hope this alone could be applied to my last year travel and allow me to regain my Silver status.

2. Please look at my travel already taken and booked for the first half of this year, an indication of my continued loyalty. In addition, I have 8-10 additional trips this fall. I will more than earn the miles again this year if I choose to fly Delta.

I know I am one little customer. But I love Delta. I’ve been loyal to Delta. And I am pleading with SOMEONE not to make an exception to your policy, but rather allow my record and that unused E ticket to be applied to my account, thus qualifying me for Silver Medallion status for the 2009 travel year.

I’ll name my firstborn Delta...really...I just might (grin).

Truly hoping that customer loyalty is more important than policy on this one,
Laurel

(I'm happy to report that the "SILVER MEDALLION" status has been reinstated. It feels good to be back.)

(P.S. I'll be honest, I've promised A LOT of people the name of my firstborn...do you think they took me seriously on that? Is this a marketing endeavor for them? Because it's in writing, am I legally bound? And at what point do I tell my future hubby about this commitment?)

My Seattle Bangs

This is a story of a girl.
Her bangs.
And the perfect wedding tux.

We had a great event in Seattle this past weekend.
So many good things came out of the experience.
I am tired and worn out but I so love what I get to do for work.
It's high stress and insanely busy...but there are enough moments of "THIS is what life is all about", that it just feels good.

AND, there are perks.

Friday morning I woke up so not loving my bangs. They were just a tich too long and no haircut for 2 more weeks.

So, I did what any girl who thinks she's 6 would do.
I used my friend's sewing scissors.

The bangs turned out fine...not great, but fine.
And when I welcomed the nearly 1500 women at Benaroya Hall to the event Friday night, I said, "Let's just get the awkwardness out of the way. Yes, I cut my own bangs. Yes, I know they don't look great. I know. I know."

It was a good ice breaker.
And TOTALLY worth it, because the next day...

Hair stylist in the crowd Susan brought her actual real live hair-cutting scissors. And during the first morning break we set up a little "salon" as it were...in the middle of the lobbyAnd seriously, how cute are these bangs?Yes, a city where you can get cute free bangs? THAT is a good city!

Oh, and whilst walking back & forth from the venue to the hotel all weekend, I became quite obsessed with this:Yes, someday...someday soon...the Good Lord willing...I will marry. And I don't so much care what I will be wearing but my groom? Oh, yeah, he will look quite fetching in this killer finely-pin-striped-amazing-lapel tux/suit:Don't we love the cut of that collar? And that tie, people...THAT TIE...I admit to feeling an odd skip in the beat of my heart everytime I looked upon it. And then there was this in the window:You add some orange to that color scheme and even without a head on the guy, I would've jumped right into the window and made it official.

Perfect wedding ensemble aside,
I love my Seattle bangs.

A Story: Part 3

When I read that question several weeks after the event, I wasn't offended.
I wasn't even embarrassed, really.
Rather, I felt like someone had pulled back the curtain.
And revealed me for who I was.
And forced me to account for it.

And, oddly enough, I was grateful.

Oh, sure, a couple of years ago, it would have put the girl I was then totally in a tail spin...I wouldn't have wanted to leave the house. I surely never would have gotten on that stage again.

But, this is not a couple of years ago.
And I am no longer that girl.

The cookie got me to the couch.
The couch got me to the place where I could handle reading that question.
The question got me to the scriptures.
The scriptures got me to Soul Boot Camp.

Because here's the reality:
I am a product of my 37 years.
I am a product of my relationships, my education, my commitment to my spiritual development...
And, I am also a product of my insecurities, my "natural man", my weaknesses.

I am who I am.
And I'm at where I'm at.
The Laurel in 2009 is no surprise to God.
He knew this is exactly where I'd be.
Because He's allowed me to choose the life I've led.

And now He simply needs me to get somewhere else.
And I'm ready.

So there are NO regrets.
NO MORE "what might have beens".
NO wishing things were different.

Something inside my head and my heart has finally changed.
You won't see it overnight.
But, I am changing.

And He is helping me.

BODY + SPIRIT = SOUL
Laurel + needing to change = BOOT CAMP.

And now you know.

(to be continued...every.single.day.)

A Story: Part 2

She spent most of her life focused on her spiritual development.
Not that she'd always been "good"...that wasn't it.

But, even as a young woman, she had a strong desire to develop her testimony and read her scriptures and prepare for the temple. New Era MormonAds were all over her room in high school (btw, did you know there are video versions now?).

She thought that nothing was more important than her spirituality.
And she defined "spirituality" based on those typical things (testimony, scriptures, temple, prayer).

******

In the last few years I've had the privilege of speaking quite a bit and sharing a message I feel passionately about...helping, especially young women, discover that they are literal daughters of a literal Father in Heaven.
That He loves them.
That He has a plan for them.
That He knows them.
I've pleaded with them to come to know it too.
To rise to be the women He intended them to be.

I testify of it because in that moment that I'm teaching truth,
I know it...to my core.

In that moment, anyway.

******

But, then one day a couple of months ago, she was reading the scriptures and came across something that made her stop and think. And the Spirit confirmed that she had missed a key truth.

******

At our final event last fall someone submitted the following as a question to be answered during our Q&A session: "This question is for Laurel. You're so funny and you seem so confident. But, is it hard for you to be on stage with those other women who are skinny and beautiful? How do you overcome you insecurities about your weight issue?"

WHAT?
Um, I'm sorry.
But, who told you I have a weight issue?
Who's telling my secrets?

******

And so, she was talking to a friend and she said, "I've got to do something about this once and for all."

And he said, "What if I told you that when people look at you they don't see someone with a weight issue? They just see YOU."

And she said, "a.) I'd say you were delirious and b.) it wouldn't matter. because I do and c.) I finally know this isn't me."

******

Let me first just say that I am not passing judgement on anyone who shares my struggle. This is not an indictment on anyone else.

BUT, for me...for my issue (oh, that word...and didn't I once say I wasn't going to let this be a place for me to talk about my issues?)...I finally came full circle. I couldn't continue talking as if I was okay...and let people think I had it all together...that I was honoring my life mission.
I couldn't.
Because I wasn't.

And this was the what-was-once-hard-to-say truth:
My issue with weight is NO different (yes, you read that right...NO different) than someone else's drug issue or many others.... When push comes to shove, I actually believe it is no different.
And I felt like it was time to talk about that.

So, the question: If someone was sharing and teaching truths...
but you knew they had a problem that makes them "less holy" or "ungodly", would you still listen to their message in the same way? Would you?

Should you?

******

She thought nothing was more important than her spirituality.
And she was right.
She just didn't understand that spirituality was more than those typical things.

Rather, it was about the SOUL.

(to be continued)

CAUGHT

I was in a group once called Latter-day Sounds.
We went around and did music-based firesides.
I always had a "speaking part", never a solo.
But, I loved it.

We even got to go on tour!
To places like...Elko, Nevada.

I think I was 20 when we went on that "world tour" and we did a Sunday night fireside. The next morning, right outside the town (because it's not a city, people. it's a town.), we stopped at a gas station. A few of us went inside to get a drink or something (I don't actually remember but I don't want you thinking I'm making this story up).

There was a slot machine.
As there is in every gas station in Nevada.

I was "dared" to put a quarter in.
It was a dare.
It was a quarter.

So, I did it.

"Excuse me, ma'am."
I turned around.
"Are you in that group Latter-day Sounds?" the sweet man, with young son in tow asked.
"Um, yes, I am."
"Well, we were at your fireside last night and I just wanted you to know that my son just saw you put a quarter in that slot machine. What do you have to say about that?"

Awkward silence.

More awkward silence.

I felt horrible.
I was caught.

(turns out one of the guys in the group totally put the man up to it...framed me for the whole thing...but the lesson was still learned.)

I was in Denver last weekend for Time Out for Women.
I was with Erin H. and we went to church (and EFast and EW were also there with us in Sacrament meeting...it was delightful). Right as Sunday School started, Erin and I decided to skip out so we could have time for lunch before I had to go to the airport.
We hesitated just a tich too long.
The teacher started as we were standing up, "I see we have some visitors here....
and one of them appears to be leaving already."

Awkward.
I felt embarrassed.
I was caught.

I have a little "be in Sunday clothes on Sunday" traveling rule...helps me remember it's Sunday. And, especially when I'm traveling as a "rep" for TOFW, I just think it's important.

But, I was so tired Sunday after Church and changed into my jeans. My flight was in the afternoon. Surely ANYONE who had come to the event had already left the city. I wasn't going to run into anyone.

Between the jeans and the no make up and the 2nd day hair?
Yeah, even if anyone WAS still in the city, they surely wouldn't recognize me.

Standing at the gate, I see a woman looking at me.
She smiles.
I smile.

She approaches:
"I'm sorry but are you Laurel Christensen?"
"Yes, I am, actually."

She proceeds to tell me she was at the event...wanted to talk about it...totally nice woman...intriguing story...and all I could think about was the fact that I was in jeans...

Caught.

We stop talking and I go to get on the plane (even though I no longer have "special" privileges...more about that later). I sit in my seat and two women boarding past me stop to say, "We loved the event. It was great."

Caught.
Again.

Needless to say I'll be wearing my skirt this Sunday on the flight home from Seattle.
Oh, and of course I'll be avoiding slot machines.
That goes without saying.

A Story: Part 1

"What did he say to you?"

She couldn't speak. She knew that every second she sat there on that couch was costing her money. Great therapy isn't cheap. She wasn't even sure how they had gotten to this place in her memories. She hadn't thought of it consciously very often. But, when she was asked the question, "Is there someone you need to receive an apology from?", she knew instantly who.

"You've been carrying this around for a very long time. There is obviously great pain behind it. You need to say it out loud."

But she couldn't utter those words. She had never uttered them before to anyone. She hadn't even realized she remembered they had been said. It had been almost 20 years. And she felt, in that moment on the couch, that if she gave those words life again, they would be "out there" ready to be fulfilled.

And she just couldn't go there.

But, the reality was she was already there. Those words were already repeating themselves over and over again in her mind. And she knew she needed to give them a voice so that she could deal with it once and for all.

It started with a Pepperidge Farm Cookie...a "Silhoutte", to be exact.
It seemed amazing that she still remembered the kind of cookie it was.
But, she also rememberd that she had on her blue dress with ballons.
She loved that dress.
She always felt so cute in that dress.

She wasn't hungry for that third cookie, but she noticed the open box on the table and was growing tired of the adult conversation in the family room.

She got up and walked into the kitchen, past the man who was sitting in a chair in the doorway. She didn't think anyone would notice her going into the kitchen to get another cookie.

But, he did.

And when she grabbed the cookie and put it in her mouth, she saw him...
his disapproving look.
And then he uttered the words that would haunt her for the next two+ decades.

And she couldn't now repeat those words to her therapist. As crazy as it sounds, she couldn't bear that he, who had passed away when she was 14, might hear her say it out loud. She didn't want him to find out that he was the source of so much pain. She didn't want him to hear that his unkind comment had seared itself deep into her little tender spirit...and so impacted so much of her life.

Even in the moment when she most needed healing, she didn't want to be the means for someone else's pain.

But, she was suddenly sobbing in the silence of the question. She sat there for nearly an hour while the clock was ticking and the dollars were adding up. Not even a costly bill could motivate her to utter what seemed to be prophetic words.

She hadn't realized how deep the pain was. Whoever said "sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me" had obviously never been a nine-year-old girl who was shamed by someone she loved.

His words had stung. And she was embarrassed.
And though she didn't even fully understand the meaning of what he had said, it was the first moment she thought something was wrong about her...something not loveable. That little cookie would become the means of not-so-little tears and insecurities and pain and doubt.

But, she finally said it out loud.
Slowly.
Quietly.
But, she said it.
And that day was the beginning of a critical, though long, journey.

It's taken some time...and several years since the expensive moment on that couch...but she has finally...FINALLY given that cookie...and all it represented... to the Lord. The only One who could heal her little tender spirit.

And He has replaced the tears with peace.
And the insecurities with knowledge.
And the pain with courage.
And the doubt with faith.

(to be continued)

i'm so glad i like me

have you ever had a long day
when the only time you looked at your hair was 13 hours ago
and because of travel plans and work you didn't ever put on make-up

but you forgot you didn't until riding on the elevator to come back up to your room at the end of the long day

and you feel all a mess and you're fighting a cold that you don't have time for until April 10 and you just want to get in your pjs and crawl into bed before your next long day tomorrow

and right before the elevator door opens you think,
"I've dressed cuter and looked better and I'm certainly glad I didn't run into anyone today that I care about."

and then the elevator door opens
and standing there is someone you maybe could

and then you start talking and at first you're thinking in your head,
"seriously? what are the chances of this? i was cute yesterday! did i even put on lip gloss? when was the last time I looked at my hair? my bangs...are they okay? am i standing up straight or do i look totally tired and done?"

but then after a while you forget because you realize you're just kind of great on your own and you don't need all that other stuff and it feels better to be the real you anyway because you like the real you

have you ever?
um, yeah...me neither
never...

no doubt i have things i'm trying to change
and i have things i want to improve
but when all is said and done,
i'm so glad i like me.
the real me...
standing there when elevator doors open.

I'm sorry, Delta Girl

Really, I am.
Can we have a do-over?

I called the 1-800 number looking for some help.
And the first guy was SO not helpful.
And then I got you.
And I so didn't mean to be a brat.

But, I'm tired...and do you know how much I'm flying this year?
Seriously, if I can't "cut to the front of the line" at security by flashing my medallion card...or occasionally get upgraded on that blasted flight from SLC to ATL...or if I can't board first with the big kids...or if I have to pay PER BAG...are you kidding me???

How did I go from being the girl who can get her bff upgraded on a flight to Toronto to THIS?

And here's the killer. I flew over 20 times last year.
TWENTY TIMES.
Do you know how much that is?
And I flew over 35,000 miles!
OVER 35K!
Do you know how long that takes to do?

But, in an effort to save some cash, sometimes, apparently more than I realized, I flew Southwest (and I liked it...there! I said it!)

And now, you tell me I'm less than 1500 miles short of my medallion???
and you want me to spend ALL YEAR WITHOUT MY MEDALLION PRIVILEGES???
Do you know how long it's been since I've been without them?

UGH. I'm so annoyed by this.

But, what a jerk.
I didn't mean to be.
Goodness knows, I've been one before, but it's been a while.

And who knows what has been going on in your day?
And regardless, I KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!
I do...I really really do.

I had a bad run in with a girl at the 1-800 Fed Ex number over two years ago. I spent nearly an hour trying to track her down after I hung up. Finally, the guy said, "Ma'am, we're a 1-800 number. You aren't the first person to be a jerk. She'll be okay."
"I know...but that's not the point. I'm so sorry and I just need her to know that I am."
And, after an hour, I tracked her down and had the chance to tell her.

And it felt good.

And now, darn it, I need to do it again.

The medallion thing SO doesn't matter.
Sure, the paying for bags will be annoying all year.
But, frankly, I'll probably be flying SW more anyway...

And, when push comes to shove, my reaction was totally lame.
And I'm sorry, Delta Girl.
Seriously...I'm so sorry.

Just a little something...

until I can find time to post some of the things in my heart
...Seriously, how much do you love this?
(Gotta love the only "legal" instrument for missionaries. Dad, you could TOTALLY learn this song, couldn't you?)

So proud of my kids...

Okay, so they aren't mine.
(though it is mildly disturbing to realize that I'm old enough they could be.)
And I haven't even known them very long.

But, in my other life, I have been blessed to be part of something that is stretching me and drinking up my time and changing me in ways I couldn't have imagined.

And in addition to serving with some of my favorite people,
I also get to serve with some phenomenal youth.
Who are getting to be involved in some revolutionary projects.

They are incredible.
You should check out what they are doing.

All I can say is that the Church...and the world...are in very good hands!

And the survey says....

thanks to all who helped decide. I'm learning to love it (grin). I got the what they call "proofs" today. Now to find time to review them.
And here's hoping there's some cute young woman in some small town somewhere who sometimes just needs to know that she's not alone...and that life really is good...and that He really is there...just like I did...

I wrote it for her.

(not sure of the release date but I think it's some time in June.)

God is always just a few steps ahead

I talk about corners a lot.

But, really, much of life isn't made up of corners.
Much of life is just this very regular path.
A path full of experiences and lessons...
But a path just the same.

Not everything is "just around this corner".

And what I've learned this week clearly and deeply is that God is always just a few steps ahead of me. He is already orchestrating things that I need next week and next month so that I have them next week and next month when I need them.

Unbeknownst to me, He is just ahead
clearing the path...
or setting the stones in my way...
or changing a lightbulb so I can see...
or taking a lightbulb out so I cannot...
or adding a sign for when it's unclear...
or finding someone to stand and wait for me to get to that point...

You get the idea.

My testimony tonight.
My strong, clear, deep, grateful testimony is this:

There IS a God in Heaven--the Father of us all.
He is aware of us today.
He is planning for our tomorrows.
He knows exactly...EXACTLY...what we will need.
And when we will need it.

And though He is here now...
Somehow He is also just ahead.
Gratefully...
Mercifully...
Wisely...
just a few steps ahead.

Do whatever you have to do...

to listen/view one of the best BYU devotionals I've ever heard.
Originally given on February 24, 2009 by Arthur C. Brooks.

I have such a crush.

a.) I love it when someone of another faith, when talking to a group of Mormons, says, "As Christians, we..." (I love it even more than he quoted King Benjamin (and you'll never read Mosiah 2 the same way again.)

b.) He shares a great story about a "magic BYU briefcase"...I really did go to a phenomenal university.

c.) He said something akin to (and I kind of quote): "In the coming weeks you will hear people say that if Americans were really doing what we should be doing, the government could take care of all of our needs and we woulnd't need personal charitable giving. We need to fight that thought. It's wrong." (Have you heard that the new administration is planning to significantly alter tax credits for charitable giving?...this link is a conversative site but you'll find the same info in an liberal newspaper as well...Can you spell M-I-S-T-A-K-E? and WRONG?)

d.) I can't wait to read his newest book.

Anyway...it's a must read/listen/watch.
Must.

When NOT to call the cops & why I miss my hubby

So, last night, I had a delightful (and much needed) short 3 hour break from my commitments. Or rather, I scheduled a commitment that was a short break from my other commitments. Either way, it was so nice...and I'm grateful for people who will hang with me and be my friend even when I'm a collosal pain to schedule time with (though this new "commitment Laurel" really is working...well done, Laurel!)

ANYWAY, after leaving, whilst sitting at a stop light at "the diagonal" in Provo...

CRUNCH.

LOUD CRUNCH.

I didn't see it coming because I was hit from behind.

We both pulled over.
Bless the cute 20 yr old who started to say something about "I think I blacked out."
I wanted to say, "oh, sweet girl...no you didn't...and it's so okay. Happens to the best of us."
But, I didn't.

(Though when her dad showed up he thanked me for being so pleasant. "I don't think I've ever seen someone like you at an accident. Thank you for being so nice to my daughter." I wanted to say, "Oh, mister, if you had ANY idea about my relationship with the law lately or how terrified I am right now that they are going to find that class B misdemeanor on my record...")

BUT, I've had enough experience with these things (sadly on both ends...literally.) that I knew I needed to call the cops.
And so I did.

Only to realize um...
well...

As I opened my wallet to look for my insurance card, I noticed my insurance card.
My EXPIRED insurance card.
I remember seeing it at some point in the last week in the piles of "to dos" sitting around my house.
I remember thinking "I should put this in my wallet and car right now."
I remember that.
But, did I? ugh.

And THEN...
I looked at my license.
Yes, that SAME license that STILL does not have my new address on it.

Are you kidding me?

"You realize that these are both violations. I'll have to give you a ticket now too." (and yes, I already see the talk that will come out of this lesson learned...)

Yes. I realize that, Officer.
But, if you only knew what my life was like the past few days.
week.
month.
Okay, YEAR.

Seriously.
I don't even know how I haven't managed to take care of those things.
But, there's simply too much to do alone.
Man was NOT meant to live alone.
Neither was woman...

And I know having a "companion" doesn't magically give you more time.
I promise I get that.

But in my world, if I had a hubby...JUST THIS WEEK...

-one of us could have taken turns picking up the dry cleaning STILL waiting for me to pick up so I don't have to wear the same two pairs of pants to work AGAIN this week

-i could have told him all about my amazing experience with hundreds of young women in Yakima last weekend when he picked me up at the airport on Monday. And he would've understood why the experience meant so much to me because of the conversation we would have had before I even left.

-i wouldn't have been able to wait to call him at 1:30 on Tuesday to tell him how the Lord really did hear my prayer. And he would have said, "oh, I've been praying you would discover that."

-when we left the company dinner on Wednesday night after hearing Elder Bednar , he would have known why my closing prayer was so short and why it was hard for me to talk. And when I said, "wow. wow. wow.", he would have said, "I know. I know. I know." And the whole way home he would have thought it was really cool that I "get him in" to things like that but I would have just been grateful I had a "him" to take with me to experience it. And, we would STILL be talking about what we heard and why it meant so much to me...to us (and he might from time to time still be saying...as he often does, "seriously, how DID I get so lucky? and I would still be saying...as I often do, "I SO feel the same way"...we're cheesy like that.)

-I would have been with HIM at the symphony Friday night and he would've totally understood why just the written form of the story of the last piece they played made me blush. But he would have tried to make me blush even more. And I would have giggled. And he wouldn't roll his eyes. He'd giggle with me. (We'd still be giggling.)

-Yesterday when I had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and didn't get to bed until 1:30 a.m. and didn't have a single moment really to catch my breath...when my cute dad said, "so was this a typical Saturday for you?", he would have been on the other end of the line and looked over at me with a "I know. I get it. I promise." look.

-HE would have given me the much needed priesthood blessing today instead of me having to schedule it with someone else (albeit a dear friend)

So, yeah...
while it would have been nice for him to help me find time to get my new address on my driver's license...mostly there were just a few other times this week when I looked over at that passenger seat of my car (wishing someone else was in the driver seat) and thought, "Holy cow where are you?!? and why are you taking so long to find me?"

How we went from getting rear-ended to this sentimental schmuck, I'll never know.
But, he will.
He'll get that about me.

(oh, and seriously, check the date on your insurance card and the address on your license...and could you pick up my dry-cleaning while you're at it?)

My life.
It's funny.
And stretching.
And good...
And I DIDN'T get the tickets.