learning what to ask for

We find what we expect to find,
and we receive what we ask for.
Elbert Hubbard

This morning I had my very first private yoga experience.

I had tried yoga once before and I felt like an idiot. It reminded me of the time I tried to drive a stick shift and couldn't figure it out.

It looks so easy...but it's not.

And this morning proved again that yoga is not an easy thing for me.
All I had to do was be still and breathe.
To listen to the silence.
To connect with the quiet.
To inhale deep.
To let all the air go out.

It should have been easy.
But it wasn't.

Then, she said it.
My instructor invited me to receive what is ready to be given.
And I inhaled deeper than I maybe ever have before.
I completely relaxed.
You see, that's something I've been learning about lately.

A couple of days before I started the "intentional prayer" commitment, I knew what it is that I was ready to pray for and wanted to ask for. It was specific.

And the morning I awoke to offer my first prayer, I had the distinct impression He was ready to give me whatever I asked for.

It startled me.

"Is this really what is right?" I had to ask myself.
And I changed the wording of my prayer.
It has had a powerful effect on me.
And I believe an important effect on my life right now.

I have come to a place in my life where, more than anything I want of my own accord, I actually deeply want what HE wants for me. And that morning, I didn't want to ask amiss. Especially if He was really ready (willing) to give me what I asked for.

Because while I'm still asking to receive,
I'm only willing to ask to receive what HE is ready to give.
His timing.
Not mine.

That's where I am.
And there's a great deal of peace here.

I think I'm going to learn to love this yoga phase.
Maybe I'll try the stick shift next.

There are two kinds of people:
those who say to God, 'Thy will be done'
and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way'.
CS Lewis

image found here

Praying for others

Petitioning Heavenly Father
for the blessings we desire
in our personal lives
is good and proper.
However, praying earnestly for others...
is also an important element
of meaningful prayer.
...Praying for others
with all of the energy of our souls
increases our capacity
hear and to heed
the voice of the Lord.
Elder David Bednar



Is it possible that in praying for the needs of others to be met, our own needs will be better met as well?

Yes.
I am learning, yes.

And I noticed it the very first morning as I offered up a prayer for one of them.

This experience of uniting with some of my friends with intentional prayer has been sweet in many ways.
I've prayed for friends before.
I've even prayed with all my little heart before for them.

But never every day for 40 days for such a specific purpose, knowing we were united.

I find my mind and heart open to other people and other circumstances that need my attention and prayers. I feel the capacity of my heart increasing. I sense that I am more connected and more in tune. And not just to the needs of others. But to my own.

One morning, after praying for one of my friends, something so specific came into my mind that I needed to pray for for me. And, as I prayed, I felt a stronger understanding of the voice of the Lord in my own life. I felt a greater clarity about a matter in my life right now.

And I wondered how my mind and heart would have heard that on their own.
I wonder...

There is power in praying for one another.
Praying earnestly for each other.

I believe it does something that doesn't happen quite the same way, any other way.

Intentional Prayer

The effectual
fervent prayer
of a righteous [woman]
availeth much.
James 5:16








effectual [ih-fek-choo-uhl]: capable of producing an intended effect

fervent [fur-vuhnt]: showing great intensity of spirit

I'm amazed at the ways the Lord has used my friends to speak to me.
I could fill volumes just representing the last year alone.

But, this little volume is about a couple of dear friends who are turning 40 with me this year.
These girls are uncommonly good.
One of them suggested that we needed to do something really special.
She arranged for a conference call between the three of us.
I thought she was going to suggest a grand trip we could take together.
Or some "bucket list" item we could complete and cross off.

But, instead...

"I've been thinking a lot about this and I think we need to unite in intentional prayer for each other for the 40 days leading up to our birthdays."

And though the term "intentional prayer" is not really used in the Mormon faith, I'm smart enough to know what it must mean.
And my little heart nearly jumped out of my chest.
I knew this was something I needed to do.

Who does that?
Who thinks to suggest such a thing?

My good, Christian, Godly-devoted friends, that's who.
Oh, how I love them.

We each shared a bit of the things in our hearts and committed to each other to pray...really pray...with real intention.
Effectual.
Fervent.
Prayer.
For 40 days.

I could not be given a better gift for my birthday.
To pray for my friends.
And to know they are praying for me.

My "40 days" starts tomorrow (can you believe 'tis only 40 days?).
(And isn't that a great way to end one year and begin another?)
One of the girls "40 days" already began.
So, we've already been praying for her for a few days.

And what I'm learning about prayer...
...about the significance of the number "40"
...about the power of praying for others...
in just a few days...

Well, let's just say I've got some things to share.
Good things.

Stay tuned.

(image found here)

The "ox miracle"

There's a story in Mormon history about a stalwart woman, Mary Fielding Smith. She took to cross the plains alone with her children after her husband, Hyrum was murdered by a mob in Illinois. As if that wasn't heartbreaking enough, the journey started with difficulty and a man in charge of the pioneer company encouraged her to stay...told her that she would be a burden if she came by herself with her children (really, man in charge? really?)

Mary confidently said, "I will beat you to the valley and will ask no help from you either.” (attagirl, Mary!)

The next story I remember hearing as a young girl is that at one point on the journey, when an ox had taken sick, Mary Fielding Smith prayed over the ox and the ox was healed. (The story you can find today is a bit different as all of the details seemed to not be entirely verifiable.)

My heart totally believes that original story.
OF COURSE Mary could pray over an ox and ask that it be healed and receive a miracle.

I've thought about that story a lot throughout my life but worried I didn't have the faith of Mary Fielding Smith. And so, I can't really think of many times I've asked for my own "ox miracle".

But I did this morning.

My cute nephew broke my treadmill a few weeks ago.
Well, he says he didn't, but he was the last one on it and it worked fine before.
So I say he broke it (but I still love him. I really really do.)

It's been a bit frustrating for me.
I've missed a lot of workouts because I didn't have the convenience of my treadmill.
I finally found a new one about a week ago but just haven't had time to arrange for it's delivery and for the removal of the other one (and my husband has been too busy to do it for me. darn husband.)

Last night I had a little meltdown.
Just feeling overwhelmed by my life.
I had previously made a commitment to work out this morning.
The only time I could do that was 4am.
And it's too dark to go outside running alone at 4am.

So, when my alarm went off, I crawled out of bed and onto my knees.
I went to sleep crying and I think I woke up crying.
I knew the Lord knew what I wanted.
And I asked that my treadmill would work so I could work out.
Then I went downstairs.

When I turned it on and the display screen lit up and the belt started going, I rested my little hand on my treadmill and just said, "Thank you."
And then I cried.
Again.

I know it might sound silly to you.
But to me there was not a bit of difference between "Mary's ox" and "Laurel's treadmill" this morning.

I knew I was given an "ox miracle"
And I could not be more grateful.

And I burned 445 calories before 5am.
THAT was a miracle too.


(image found here)

Mercies in disguise

Some of my greatest blessings really have come through
raindrops and tears
and sleepless nights
and other mercies in disguise.

I can finally see that now.
And I'm so grateful.
For His mercy.

(Take a listen.)



Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
-Laura Story

A little fortune cookie miracle

I'll be honest.
I was kind of secretly hoping "the new person I would meet in the next week that would be for my benefit" the the fortune cookie foretold was going to be a person of the male persuassion.
The single persuassion.

Well, tonight was the week mark.

Now, in fairness to the universe, I did meet a new person.
And he was of the male persuassion.

But very married.
And very much old enough to be my father.

My new hometeachers came tonight.
I wouldn't have called and asked them to come.
But, I needed them to.
How did they know to call? And to come?
Tonight?

I tweaked my back this weekend and I've been a bit discouraged about that.
I am working so hard to change my little life and my little head and my little self.
And I've made such good strides and so didn't need a set back.
And I'm supposed to be up in Wyoming again on Thursday for another camp.

And I've been praying for a little miracle.

So tonight
on the eve of the end of the fortune cookie timeframe,
I met a new person (two of them in fact).
They came into my home.
(do you men have ANY idea how good it feels when you are in our homes?).
They shared a message.
Then they asked me if I wanted a blessing.

They put their hands on my head
and said things that only God would know I needed to hear.

A benefit.

And though it's not quite what I had in mind,
as He has done so many many other times in my life,
God gave me what I needed.

A little fortune cookie miracle, if you will.
And a benefit of the highest proportion.

The Praying Motorcyclist

There he was
early in the morning
on the side of the highway
the highway that cuts through Sardine Canyon
the open part of the canyon
where it doesn't curve back and forth
so you can see ahead for just a bit longer

He was stopped on the side of the road
helmet off
stopped
on the side
of the road
his head was down
and as I flew by at 75 mph
(too fast for Sardine Canyon? Perhaps.)

I saw that his head wasn't just down
it was bowed
and his arms
...were folded?

I looked back in my rearview mirror

Is he praying?
Is the motorcyclist praying?

And why?

Had the motorcycle died?
And he needed assistance?

Had someone he loved died?
And he was praying for strength for the rest of his journey?

Had he just broken up with a girlfriend?
And he couldn't even make it all the way home?

Or was he headed to meet her to tell her he loved her?
And he just needed some courage?
(that was the jane austen in me)

Had he been overcome by the beauty of the morning?
(my, it was beautiful)
And he just felt compelled right then & there to say "thank you"?

I don't know who he was
I don't know why he was stopped
I don't know why he was praying
early in the morning
in the middle of the canyon
I just know that he was

And I've been grateful for him all day

I saw the motorcyclist
on the side of the road
saying a prayer
early in the morning
and I found myself
saying one too

Here's My Heart, Lord

I have been totally enjoying Sunday School this year. I'm loving the study of The Old Testament. I don't know if it's because I'm maturing or just that my eyes are being opened to more parallels but whatever it is, I'm loving it.

Today we were studying the book of Joshua...which has some real gems.

At the end of the book, after Joshua has become the prophet, helped the people through the waters of Jordan, led them to conquer Jericho, Joshua recounts to the children of Israel all the the Lord has done for them.

He then asks them who they are committed to serve.
They say they choose to serve God.
He asks them again.
They again say they choose to serve God.

He says, "Ye are witnesses against yourselves that ye have chosen you the Lord, to serve him."
And they said, "We are witnesses."

Then Joshua tells them to "put away the strange gods which are among you, and incline your heart unto the Lord God of Israel." (Joshua 24:23)

I have a couple of "strange gods" in my life.
Though not an idolatrous girl in maybe the traditional sense, I definitely have some things in my life that need to be put away.
That get in the way. That make me wander.
And as I sat in class, I felt my little heart want to be more inclined to Him. And I want to be my own best witness that I have chosen to follow the God of Israel.

I love it when I feel that way.

It reminded me of the first time I heard and experienced this (and if you've never seen it, watch til the very very end.). And so I watched it again this afternoon and my little heart. Wow.


Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart, [Lord]
Take and seal it.
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Lay it to heart

Remember this, which I tell you before,
that you may lay it to heart,
and receive that which is to follow.
(Doctrine & Covenants 58:5)

"Lay it to heart".
I think that is one of the most beautiful phrases I've ever heard.
Had you heard it before?

I hadn't.
I mean, I had read the verse before.
It's in one of my favorite sections.
But, I hadn't HEARD it.
Until last Sunday, when it popped out at me while I was sitting at church.
And it spoke to me.
I felt it.
And I wanted it.
I wanted to know what it meant to "lay it to heart".

And that night I knew.
And I've been reflecting on it all week.

I spent much last weekend getting my heart to a place where it would be open and ready to hear whatever He had to tell me.
And, through the power of His Holy priesthood, as I received a much needed blessing at the hands of a friend,
I heard.

And it was clear.

I think "lay it to heart" has many meanings.
It means committing it to your heart.
Believing it.
Pondering it.
Feeling it.
Keeping it. to yourself.
Because it's just you and Him.
And so I won't shout from the rooftops what I "lay to heart".

But, I do feel the need to shout from the rooftops that it happened.

And for me, it happened because God's Priesthood, the power for man to act in His name, is here on the earth.

I know I can talk to God.
I know He will talk to me.
And sometimes, through His Priesthood, what He has to say is just a little easier to hear.

I lay that to heart too.