How much do you love this?

No, not the hair (though seriously...that's pretty great hair...grin)

But how cute is that thing IN my hair?
You can't fully appreciate that it's 4 dimentional. We made them at girls camp. If I was a better photographer like my cousin Angela, I'd have better pics and angles so you could fully appreciate this great little craft we did.

Basically, you create 3 similar flower patterns of varying sizes.
Then you find cute coordinating fabrics.
Assign a pattern size to each fabric (and you can double up on some if you'd like) and cut the varying flowers out.
Use a cute botton to create the middle of the flower and arrange the fabrics this way and that to create a 3 or 4 dimentional flower. Sew the button onto the flower (thus connecting all the flowers) and sew a hair elastic through the back.

Okay, just trying to be creative/crafty and write these instructions is making me laugh. I'm SO not crafty.

But, how much do you love this?
(and, yes, I'm officially avoiding my final project for my last class...MY LAST CLASS!!)

Days in pajamas

I'm a walking intrigue full of contradictions.
I get that about myself.
Someday, someone will adore my hypocricy.

On one hand I want to be industrious, focusing on eternity, stepping up my game a bit more with each day, being nice to people who maybe couldn't give a flying fig about me, taking time for legitimate self-improvement.

And then other times?
I really want to stay in my pajamas.
I do.
I admit it.

And yesterday?
Well, maybe I did that.
Maybe.

Maybe I got up and spent the first half of the day doing school and work and then maybe I let myself open my email from Chris Stewart who had sent me the really rough manuscript of VOLUME SIX.

Maybe.

And maybe I got myself into my bed with my laptop and started reading and maybe I broke a few times to drink water (because yesterday was a "drink lots of water" day)only to find myself still in my pajamas, in my large comfy chair (which I had moved to after a while), reading by the light of my laptop at 9:42 p.m. Because maybe I couldn't put it down because maybe it was just that brilliantly written...me a girl who doesn't usually like fiction but is a sucker for fiction that teaches me. Maybe I loved it even though parts of it really frightened me but am still thinking about it and maybe it left me really excited about the future and hopeful about my place in it.

Maybe.

And maybe, when I looked at the clock and looked down at my favorite pajamas and wondered about how long it's been since I've had a "lazy" day like this, maybe I giggled like a school girl and felt like I had just participated in some delicious scandal that was delightfully liberating. But, maybe I also felt a little bit contradicted because of what I wrote yesterday?

Maybe I'm a little bit of a hypocrite.
Maybe I like days in pajamas.
Maybe I do.
Maybe.

I'm not; I can't; I won't

"We spend too much of our lives
acting as though we're going to stay here.
When we aren't.
We can't.
And we won't." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
(at the funeral of David Lant,age 34, July 12, 2008)

A friend who was at that funeral shared this quote with me a little more than a week ago and I have NOT been able to get it out of my mind. It's one of the fastest things I've ever memorized. Talk about perspective.

How many things in your life right now are JUST for HERE?
How much energy do you use on relationships that really matter vrs relationships that don't...or won't...?
How much time are you spending chasing things that don't have eternal significance?

This is NOT to say that we can't enjoy the things that only have "here" impact (good food, great shoes, my new found love of "facebook").

But, wow.

Giving up my "just one thing" is helping me let go of the "here" a little bit. But I need to do more.
I want to be a girl who knows there is something beyond.
I want to remember that I'll spend most of my existence not here.
I want to use my time & energy on things that really matter.
I want my heart more focused on eternity.
I want to "get it" just a little more.

I am.
I can.
And I will.

Island Signs (Orcas Finale)

Some people have asked me why I chose to go to the island...alone.
And though the end result ended up different than the initial reason, I especially want to explain for my closest friends who maybe wonder why, if I finally had time off, I wouldn't want to spend it with them.

It was for the book (which I REALLY have to start focusing on so this blogging obsession & marathon needs to take a rest for a bit).

I'm supposed to be writing a devotional book for young women for DB. I intended to use this "island time" to have some writing time...something about that sounded so "Anne Shirley" to me. And, I did get some writing done.

SOME being the operative word there.

But, there were some signs on the island that got me thinking.
And I'm taking about actual literal signs.

The Island summary:How much do you love this? There is a part of this lifestyle that SO appeals to me...and yet a part that would drive me crazy. But, for the record, it was Friday at 3:30 when I saw this sign. AND she was closed.

The ultimate question--I giggled when I saw this one. I think I've spent some of my life asking this question...but I get the point now...and am committed to spending my time on things that HAVE one!

Stating the not-always-so-obvious?(couldn't be more perfect for my YW "repentance" lesson today!)At the farthest edge of the island, in Olga (a town with a population of less than 100), the last road ends. And you find this interesting pairing of signs. Is it not enough to just say "dead end"? Must the "turn around here" be pointed out? Do I even need to share the life analogy? Or how many times maybe I've actually needed that 2nd sign? Sometimes it really isn't as obvious it should seem...but when you hit a dead end, turn it around...and remember there is ALWAYS a way to turn around.
ALWAYS.

Somewhere over the rainbow...Who knew this is where I'd find it all? My heart, my courage...even a bit more of my brain. I definitely felt a sense of "home" about it all. I really can't say enough about this magical place that was every bit a journey down life's road for me.

So, now to the lesson...
And then to the book...

But, I'll be back.
You know I can't ever stay away too long.

(P.S. Here are some last pics that didn't get included anywhere else. Enjoy!)

My (almost) Dateline special (Orcas Part 5)

Okay, sorry, I teased you on Orcas Part 3 with a "UP NEXT: my own after school special" and then got sidetracked.

I realize getting sidetracked is atypical of me (um, yeah, right.).

Do you remember those after school specials filled with teenage angst? They were always such dramatic tales. But, as I started thinking about what I thought could be my own "made for tv movie", I realized if it had played out a little differently, it would have been more like a NBC Dateline special...you know...that dramatic Ann Curry intro and then that tall skinny gray haired guy who always says everything with such emphasis...

"It started out as a writing retreat...but it turned into something so much more. The tragic ending when we return" (cut to commercial).

So, on Sunday after church, I decided to go check out Moran Park. It's the national park on the island. I had heard there was an incredible lake up there.And there was.I don't remember the last time I was in such a quiet place. It was like there was not another soul on the planet.


But, someone had also told me to make sure to check out the Cascade Falls...it was a short little hike...quiet and gorgeous...

Only problem? They were serious about the "hike" part.(If I had the self-portrait mastered, you would see that sign says "hikers only".)

What's the problem with that? I wasn't wearing the smartest shoes.(But great pedicure, eh?)

But, I took it slow and walked carefully and got some nice views of the falls.I wanted to go all the way down but I was smart enough not to go further than my Adidas flip-flops were prepared to take me.
And I almost made it.
I was SO close heading back up.
I was alone.
It was quiet.
I was congratulating myself on taking the little hike.
(I have really GOT to stop self-congratulations prematurely!)

And then I fell.
Totally biffed it.

Of course, my first concern was my new prized digital camera.
I dragged myself over to get it as it was going down a little ledge.
Pictures saved.
whew!

I knew I had twisted my ankle pretty good (shocker, eh?) and my knee really hurt (right ankle, left knee...just like always).(Yes, I'm the dork who actually took a picture of the injury and for the record, this makes it look so minor...but I was really hurt! C'mon! I was!)

My first thought was, "holy cow. I think I'm hurt. What if no one finds me? EVER?" (yes, I've always been prone to dramatics).
Then I thought, "i probably look like an idiot! What if someone finds me here? SOON?"
(Possible embarrassment ALWAYS supercedes injury.)

So, I dragged myself to the safer part of the path (since ledges are never safe) and propped myself against the mountain. I got up, dusted myself off (including dusting off my pride) and said a little "thank you" prayer. I was keenly aware it could have been worse. And I was grateful I was able to get myself back to the car.

I went straight back to the inn.
I had had enough adventure for one day.

And I already had plenty of material for my Dateline story...
should Ann Curry ever call.
(but it will have to wait until after I clean my house for a house showing this afternoon...wish me luck!)

(UP NEXT: Looking for signs)

Island burial ground (Orcas Part 4)

I had a few minutes to kill before my flight to heaven. Just down the road was the Orcas Island cemetary (I don't know if it was actually called that, but that's what it was).

I've never really been that intrigued with cemetaries but my friend Kara did a little cemetary walk when she was in London and that intrigued me. So I decided to have one of my own.

I have to say that it was actually a little highlight on the trip. The cemetary was really small and I found myself obsessed with looking at every single headstone/memorial.
I just didn't want anyone to feel left out that I didn't look at them (I'm a people pleaser, even with dead people. Is that weird?)

There was Baby Bott.I want to know this story. I want to know how long it took the person who spelled everything out with pebbles...how long they spent looking for the pebbles...when those dead flowers were placed there...why there weren't new ones...this one made me cry.

Then there was Allain Cardinelf.She was 76 and I fear she died pennyless and alone. All that marked her grave was the glass enclosed paper from the funeral chapel. I was glad I hadn't passed her up. She deserved to be seen too.

Then there was Archie.He must have been a pilot? I love that his grave marker was an engraved propeller. Don't you just want to know that story?

And you have to love Burton A. Burton.How much do you love this guy? Don't you feel like you know him just looking at that picture? Or like he wants to know you? I think I would have really liked Burton (and love that his first name and last name are the same!)The back of his marker said he was the owner, operator and chief engineer for the island train station. And it read: "He loved his trains. He loved this island and the world loved him." Sweet.

Is it bad that I want to be remembered?
I want people to know I was here.
I want to know I made a difference.
I want to know I left my mark.

I guess we all want to know that.
And the reality is we all DO. Of course we do.

I hope Allain knew that.
She left a little mark on me.

I got published today...sort of

My blogger friend Brooke (who is such a great writer and was one of the first people who got me thinking about blogging in a short 3.5 minute conversation) referenced my "Just one thing" post in her Segullah post today.

Apparently, that concept struck a chord with a few people.
I had a few other people email asking if they could "use it".
Happily, the spirit has no copyright. I certainly didn't make the concept up or anything.

I just like it when we can learn from each other and then pass it along.
Let's keep learning and passing along...

The Island from HIS view (Orcas Part 3)

So, remember how on Saturday morning God invited me to see the world from His view? Well, after breakfast at the inn (and can I just say "wowzers. YUM."?), I decided to take Him up on it.

I asked Bob (of "Bob & Lori, Proprietors of the Kingfish Inn") what he could tell me about some of the flight tours I'd heard about. He didn't really even skip a beat. He just picked up his phone, dialed, and handed it to me.

Rod was on the other end.
He told me it would be the best money I'd ever spend (and since it would require me to give up my firstborn to come UP with that money, I told him he better be right) and that it was the chance of a lifetime.

I still don't know what possessed me to do it.
But, WOW.

Rod (a Vietnam War navy pilot) & his wife came to visit the Island 19 years ago. After a few days, they went back to Dallas, sold their home, quit his job, bought a plane and brought the family back to the Island so he could do this:
It's a one man business (him) and when you walk in to the hanger, you see all sorts of cool model airplanes, including this one:
Only, it wasn't a model.
It just never even occurred to me to ask "what kind of plane?" I didn't even know they still flew planes like this! And, apparently there aren't too many flying anymore. But, Rod didn't let me chicken out.
He got me situated and then started up the engine. When it started to roll, I yelled out an "Are you kidding me?!?"
But, I have never been more pleased with a decision to spend money and give up buying shoes for the rest of the year...
Because on Saturday, I really needed to see a different view.
And I did. There is something really liberating about being in the air...in an open cockpit...with nothing in front of you...flying...on the clearest day Rod said he's seen in a long time.

I had this sense that I was just a little closer to heaven. I knew I was seeing views that just couldn't be seen from the ground.

I thought about the view that God sees...
the view we don't...
the view we can't.
And I had the sense that so much of what we do here just SO doesn't matter. In the big picture, it just doesn't matter. There is SO much more at play than the little view of what we see. And while our LIVES matter...they matter SO much...and how we live matters...sometimes we have a skewed picture of the details...and the timing.

But, in the air...the view from HIS window...there is incredible contentment and peace and perspective.Somehow in 38 minutes, I caught a whole new view of my life and my place in the grand scheme of things. I saw some of what has happened this past year a little differently. And in that moment, in that place, in that feeling of "this is just me and HIM", I was overwhelmed with emotion.

That's when Rod stopped talking to me through my little earphones. He stopped telling me about the amazing islands below and Mt. Rainier in the distance. And he played Luciano Pavarotti and did some aerial ballet and I just leaned back with my eyes closed and whispered a deep-in-my-heart "Thank You" to Him and His view.

If we could just step back and see our lives from His view more often.
"...all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good."
(Moses 6:32)
He will.
And He does.
I know that to my core.

(UP NEXT: My own "after school special")

The faces of the Island (Orcas Part 2)

Yeah, see...I just can't even wait. I'm tired and have things to do and yet, I just can't stand not sharing. I talked about it all day today. Ardeth Kapp was in for board meeting and she got so excited when I started talking...turns out she went to Orcas Island when she was about my age...she said it's where she found herself. So it's not just ME who feels this way about this magical place.

It's honestly a cross between Avonlea and Pemberly...with a tich of Missouri thrown in just for good measure.

There's the quaint Churches.
And the farms.
And the harbors.
And the inns(which I was told by the locals weren't as great as Kingfish).
And the cabins.
And the meadows.

I loved how diverse it was, especially when I saw the view from a little higher up.
(UP NEXT: A little higher up...)

Heaven Island (Orcas Part 1)

a.) I know it's called Orcas Island but to me it was heaven
b.) Thanks to Jake (new Dad!!) who helped me finally figure out how to make the files of my photos smaller so blogger would accept them
c.) It will be all I can do to not stay up all night posting about my amazing experience last weekend.

Early Friday afternoon I took the ferry from Antecortes (about an hour north of Seattle).I instantly felt like I was in a movie and I giggled like a school girl.And I didn't even feel the least bit silly taking my own picture (though maybe a little awkward...do I really smile like that?). The ocean air felt SO good and I just stood against the front bough (is that what it's called?) with my eyes closed totally grinning. I'm sure people thought me odd. But, I just didn't care.

When I drove off the ferry and followed the directions to the place I would call home for a few days, I dared not let myself think it would really be as amazing as I hoped. I went around a bend and saw this:And I actually said, "SHUT UP!" out loud to myself. I giggled. I totally giggled.
I pulled up to the Kingfish Inn, a place I had cut out of a Delta Sky magazine nearly two years ago (not having ANY idea where it actually was or if I would ever get to go).I checked in and went to my room.Er, I mean, my small house. Which bed to sleep in? I can't quite decide?
What? I don't want to sleep inside? I would rather sleep out on the private deck?Something about it all seemed so unnecessary...so indulgent...so delightful!

And yet, I had no idea what I was in for.

I really think I spent 3 days in heaven. It was amazingly therapeutic to just be with ME...and God...and me. Turns out, I'm quite a kick to travel with. Who knew?

(UP NEXT: a look around the island)