Please help Lisa.

I cannot stop thinking about Lisa King today.

Lisa is an incredible woman & fellow blogger.
I met her at our TOFW event in Sydney.

Lisa's son, Noah, lost a battle with his 10 year old body in October.
Incredible boy.
Incredible life.


I was in awe at Lisa's strength during the before and after of that difficult loss.

BUT...

Four days ago..
FOUR. DAY. AGO...
Three months after losing her precious boy...
Her husband died suddenly.
Her husband.

Where do you put that story?
How could that possibly fit into God's plan?
Do I believe what I wrote earlier today?
Does He REALLY give us exactly what we need?
Does He REALLY require us not to suffer "a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love."?
Because HOW...HOW does anyone endure such loss?

You can read the story here.

My heart is broken for Lisa.
But...
I really do believe in a God who takes care of His children.
I do.
I have to.

And I know He'll take care of her and her broken heart.
I know He will.
I have to.

Another friend & fellow blogger has set up a donation site.
Will you help?
Please help if you can.

You can donate here.

exactly what we need

"God shall supply ALL your need."
Philippians 4:19

I'm not always a fan of the "combined meeting" on the 5th Sunday when the men and the women come together. It sometimes just feels like a repeat of Sunday School class. And, I really love Relief Society and sometimes I need my "girl time".

So, I was going to sneak out (shhh. don't tell.).
A friend even gave me permission to.

But, as I went to leave, I had the thought, "What if you need to be in there? What if the Lord is going to give you something you need?"

(I can't believe how good I am at manipulation with myself.)

I decided I would sit on the back row so I had the option to easily sneak out. And a cute young mom who I don't really know all that well asked me if I wanted to sit with her. "Sure...but you should know I might sneak out."

The lesson was about adversity and the teacher (who happens to be my Bishop) said some really awesome things about what steel needs to become strong (which isn't, by the way, the hottest fire like you maybe have heard before...it actually gets strongest when it has the right combination of high and low temperatures...and that could be a post all on its own...)

I thought about my life and how sometimes I feel like I'm in a fire.
Other times, I feel like I'm given a resting period.
When am I growing most?
"Hmmm. Maybe I can grow as much in resting periods as in the fire?" I thought to myself.

And then someone made the comment that you've maybe heard before:
"I think people who experience harder things are just stronger people. God knows they can handle it."

I cringed. But I wasn't sure why.

I just knew it wasn't true.
There was no way that was true.
I've heard it before; I've maybe even said a version of it myself.

She continued: "My life feels pretty easy. Maybe people with harder lives are just at a higher level than those of us who don't have to experience those things."

I had to say something...but I didn't want to be the jerk who publicly denounced what that good woman had said.

"I don't believe what she said. I just don't believe it," I whispered to the young mom who I barely knew sitting next to me. "I feel like I need to say something."

"What?" she asked.

"I just think that's really dangerous. It says that God is a respector of persons when the scriptures tell us everywhere He is not. It says that He thinks more of some children than He does of others. And are the people who don't have hard things happen supposed to think less of themselves and the people who have hard things think more?"

The young mom got a little emotional. "Can I tell you I've been thinking about this very thing all week? My friend's child was just diagnosed with leukemia and she just found out she's pregnant with twins and it all seems to be too much. And my life is so easy and I've been wondering if I'm just weak...if I'm not strong enough. So when I heard that comment I was just sitting here feeling even worse."

And then I heard myself say things I've never really thought about...

"Adversity says far less about who we are and far more about what we need to learn."

"God is anxious to teach us everything we need to learn to help us become who we are meant to be and He will choose the least painful route to get us there."

"He is not waiting to throw hard things at us to show us how strong we are."

"I believe in a God who works everyday to shield us from pain whenever He can."

"We all need to learn the same things at some point but how we learn is going to be individualized."

"I've been learning things I had to be single to learn. You've been learning things you had to be a young mom of two to learn. I really believe it's that simple. Neither of us is better because of that."

We connected as sisters.
And then we both just kind of broke into tears...
she feeling the love of a Father in Heaven who knew what she had been dealing with that week and making sure she was right where she needed to be to hear what she needed to hear...
and
me feeling the love of a Father in Heaven who knew what I had been dealing with that week and making sure I was right where I needed to be to hear what I needed to hear...

God loves us so much.
SO MUCH.

I am blown away by how much.

He loves us more than we can comprehend.
He orchestrates more than we know.
He takes care of us more that we will ever see.

And you know what? I ABSOLUTELY to my core believe what He taught me yesterday.

"God is anxious to teach us everything we need to learn to become who we are meant to be. AND He will choose the least painful route to get us there."

God really does gives us exactly what we need.
Not a bit more.
Not a bit less.
Because. He. Loves. Us.

Exactly what we need.
In life.
In our experiences.
In challenges.
In 5th Sunday meetings.

"Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love."
-Elder Richard G. Scott (Oct. 1995 General Conference)

Thanks, Mr. Steinbeck.

Here's another goody that I *might* have listened to a lot last week.

I love knowing (and I really do know) there IS something beautiful that's waiting (more to come on that thought.)



And now, for something else truly great.

A letter that John Steinbeck wrote to his son.
Pretty true.
Pretty perfect.
And a good reminder that "if it is right, it happens".

I have a date tonight.

And for that, and other reasons, this will be the last post about the thing I never really talked about when it started so there's not much to share about it ending.
But so much good came from it (ok. I might say more about that) & I can be nothing but grateful.
And "it" will happen...when it is right.
I believe that to my core.

Thanks, Mr. Steinbeck.

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had. [this might be the part I have more to say about]

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,
Fa

(From the Atlantic. That I discovered thanks to a really awesome blogger who apparently is in the same space as I when it comes to hearts right now.)

the other side of "someday"

You know those songs you hear and love but you kind of hope you won't be able to relate to ever again?

Flicka sent me this great video a few months ago and I remember thinking, "So cute. SO glad I just don't really need that. I'm a much smarter girl than I was before."

Well, I might have kind of needed it last week.

But, leave it to Sara Bareilles to write an upbeat sad song that is so peppy, you forget it's sad and then you feel all peppy even when you are tempted to be sad.

Here's to "the other side of someday"...



PS...How great is this F. Scott Fitzgerald gem:

"Why don't you tell me that 'if the girl had been worth having, she'd have waited for you'?"

"No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody."

(from This Side of Paradise)

Well, hello, Mr. Dragon

Monday was the beginning of the Chinese New Year.
Did you know that?
I celebrated it last night with some dear friends.

We ate yummy chinese food.
And we observed the tradition of "letting go".
I love celebrating New Years twice.

Thank you, China.

Speaking of China...I kind of got into the whole "Chinese Astrology" thing on my trip to China in '09. (PS if you look at the pictures and don't tell me I look completely different, we cannot be friends.)

I remember being excited when I learned there that 2011 was the year of the rabbit.
Which meant a very good year for the rat.
I'm a rat, you see.

And for a rat, the year of the rabbit was supposed to be a year of
career advancement (check)
and love (check)
and good health (check).
Though I was cautioned to stay away from indulging in alcohol and gambling (check. check.)

Seriously. 2011 was totally a very good year.
Which kind of makes me a believer in Chinese Astrology (unless it says bad things are coming. I'm fickle like that.)

Well, 2012 is the year of the Dragon.
And I've been reading up on what the worldwideweb has to say about it.
And for a Rat, the Dragon year is...well...fair.
You might get less return than you expected even if you put more effort in it. As long as you don't aim too high, you will be satisfied with what you will do in 2012.

Awesome.
Way to set expectations low.

But then there is this:

Rat will be quite happy and relaxed in the year 2012 of the Black Water Dragon. This period will be successful for him if he will be optimistic and bold in his actions. The beginning of 2012 will be tough and intense - Rats will have to quickly turn around in time to respond to all problems. Spring is an equally intense period, but this time will bring clarity to most directions, and Rat will find it much easier to operate, knowing his way.

Okay. Okay. I can handle that.
So, it's going to be "intense" for a while (which is hysterical to me because someone pointed out to me last month that I use the word "intense" a lot when talking about my life.) but I'll get clarity.

Now...why would I need clarity and need to know my way?

Well...(and this is where it gets freakishly right on the money)

Rat's personal life in 2012 will be pushed into the background by him because work with a high rate of actions will not allow him/her to pay much attention to his/her partner and feelings - at least in the first half of 2012.

That could be tragic and discouraging, no?
NO.

Because this is where it gets good:

Single Rats will have the chance to meet their love in the second half of 2012 - this period is more favorable for development of relations and will be a good time for romantic encounters. It's a good time for unmarried Rat people to find the ideal partner.

Well, hello, Mr. Dragon.
Whaddaya say we get ready for the "second half of 2012"?
[wink. wink.]

Things are gonna get good...


(image found here)

Already written

Today one of my dear friends had to remind me of truths I've talked about here before.
Sometimes, when life throws you a little curveball, you just need someone to call you out on the fact that you're forgetting truths you know.
She might have been stern with me...and I'm so glad I have friends like that.

I had an experience last week that was a game changer.
Do you know the kind?
When things feel turned upside down?
And the next day I was sad and confused and unsettled and worried.

That night one of my favorite men on the planet said something so profound, so simple, so true:

"Your future isn't any different today than it was yesterday."

That was it.
Period.
End of discussion.
End of the tears.

And I woke up the next morning enveloped in the most unbelievable peace.

We each have a story.

And while we can do things to alter that story,
And while others can do things to alter that story,
God is the editor.
He intervenes when He needs to.
He adds a sentence here and there.
He erases.
He fixes.
But the story is all part of His plan.

And I simply do not believe in a God who turns a page and gets surprised.

I do not believe, for example, He spent any time last week saying, "Wow. I'm shocked. This is so not how I thought this was going to turn out for her." (And not just because God wouldn't use "so" like that.)

No.

Rather I believe in a God, my Heavenly Father, who is so involved in every detail of my life that He spent time this entire last year orchestrating things in such a way to have them play out exactly how He needed them to.
Exactly how He knew I needed them to too.
He intervened as needed.
He added a sentence here and there.
He edited.
To get the story just right.

When I can let myself believe it, I feel the deepest sense of peace.

There is a plan for your life.
There is a story that is yours.
JUST. YOURS.

And your story is where it's supposed to be.
The chapter.
The page.
The very words.

He knew exactly where you'd be right now.
And the beautiful promised ending of your story is already written.
Your future isn't any different today than it was yesterday.
And, oh, that future is good.
SO. GOOD.
I promise that is true.

Blessed be the Lord...
there hath not failed ONE WORD
of all his GOOD PROMISE
1 Kings 8:56

Blessed by the Lord, indeed.

What He has spoken, He has spoken.
It is already written.
Even when it doesn't feel like you can believe it...
It's still true. That's how truth works.

That's how God works.

The dangers of teaching Sunday School

One of the 13 yr old boys I teach in Sunday School is also going to someday be a brilliant Hollywood director.



Yep...that's me...telling the classic story of "The Mediator" by Boyd K. Packer.
Getting ready to have a "life changing moment" with the kids.
Literally moments before bearing my testimony about the Atonement.
And then...
bursting into flames.

I didn't see the video until the end of class.
You know, after I was feeling all good about the impact my lesson must have had.

Oh, the joys of 13 year old boys.
But, oh, how I love these 6 seconds.
One of the funniest things ever.

And how much do I love my class. Seriously.

learning what to ask for

We find what we expect to find,
and we receive what we ask for.
Elbert Hubbard

This morning I had my very first private yoga experience.

I had tried yoga once before and I felt like an idiot. It reminded me of the time I tried to drive a stick shift and couldn't figure it out.

It looks so easy...but it's not.

And this morning proved again that yoga is not an easy thing for me.
All I had to do was be still and breathe.
To listen to the silence.
To connect with the quiet.
To inhale deep.
To let all the air go out.

It should have been easy.
But it wasn't.

Then, she said it.
My instructor invited me to receive what is ready to be given.
And I inhaled deeper than I maybe ever have before.
I completely relaxed.
You see, that's something I've been learning about lately.

A couple of days before I started the "intentional prayer" commitment, I knew what it is that I was ready to pray for and wanted to ask for. It was specific.

And the morning I awoke to offer my first prayer, I had the distinct impression He was ready to give me whatever I asked for.

It startled me.

"Is this really what is right?" I had to ask myself.
And I changed the wording of my prayer.
It has had a powerful effect on me.
And I believe an important effect on my life right now.

I have come to a place in my life where, more than anything I want of my own accord, I actually deeply want what HE wants for me. And that morning, I didn't want to ask amiss. Especially if He was really ready (willing) to give me what I asked for.

Because while I'm still asking to receive,
I'm only willing to ask to receive what HE is ready to give.
His timing.
Not mine.

That's where I am.
And there's a great deal of peace here.

I think I'm going to learn to love this yoga phase.
Maybe I'll try the stick shift next.

There are two kinds of people:
those who say to God, 'Thy will be done'
and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way'.
CS Lewis

image found here

So much better than nothing

"I'm glad for the disappointment.
It's better than nothing."
Oskar, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Oskar is convinced that his father (Tom Hanks), who died in the WTC on September 11th, has left him a final message after finding a "secret key". This young boy gives everything he has to find the lock the key will open. He frantically works to get to what's at the other end of his journey only to find the journey wasn't about what was on the other end.

It was about all he learned along the way.

He had a moment of devastation (and ohmygoodness, what a powerful scene!).
But, then, just the feeling of deep disappointment, which he maturely concluded was so much better than nothing.

Stop whatever you are doing and make plans right now to see what has to be the most beautiful film of the year, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

I saw it tonight.
I cried.
I laughed.
I sweetly reflected on my connections and my open heart.
I was reminded of what life is really all about.

Relationships.
Love.
Kindness.
Sacrifice.
Forgiveness.
Healing.
Trust.
Accepting things that don't make sense.
The power of "I love you."

One of my favorite lines from Lark Rise to Candleford came in Season 3 (Episode 4, if you want to get specific):

"To love is to lay yourself open to loss.
That is the bargain we make with ourselves.
Because it is worth it."

I will never be a girl unwilling to love just because of the risk involved.
Because it is worth it.
It WILL be worth it.

And I agree with Oskar.
I too am glad for the disappointment.
(Even the deep kind.)

It is, indeed, better than nothing.
So much better.

My current little secret...

I've got a couple of posts about PRAYER that I really need to finish.
I'm learning some really important things and thought I might as well share.

BUT...

I also just have to shout something kind of fun from the rooftops.
Okay, it actually feels a little bit like a dirty little secret, but I'm sharing anyway.

One of my challenges the last 6 months has been getting back into a routine of planning, shopping, and cooking the healthy meals I was doing this time last year. And I knew I had to make that happen if I wanted to finish the last half of this journey (yep, I'm more than halfway there).

So, Erin and I have a friend who is a killer healthy cook who was needing some work.
And it just so happened we were needing a killer healthy cook.

So...while this feels a little silly to admit...
We totally hired her to cook us super healthy meals.

We get a delivery of 8 pre-prepared and packaged and well-balanced meals every Monday night that are between 300-400 calories.
And...
Well...

They say "nutrition" is 90% of weight loss and I totally believe it.
And while YOU might not totally believe THIS,
I, am down 7 more pounds
SEVEN MORE POUNDS
in two weeks.

All from counting every little calorie that goes into my mouth.
All whilst not being able to work out one little bit.

So, why am I sharing this?

Because I suspect I have some friends out there who would love to take advantage of this little opportunity.

If you live in the greater SLC area (or even kind of sort of nearby) and are the least bit interested, email me LaurelDOTChristensenATgmailDOTcom for details.

For me, it's actually cheaper than buying food I never end up eating before it goes bad or eating half my meals out (I was the queen of stopping at Whole Foods on my way home and getting one of their pre-prepared meals) and the time it saves? Makes it more than worth it.

So, if'n you're interested in your own little personal chef complete with meals you can't believe you get to eat (seriously. Yummy.),
If you'd like to give yourself a little jumpstart for a month or more of healthy eating,
Well, holler.

It just might be the best thing you did for physical self this year.
(and it can be our little secret.)
(image found here)

Take THAT, bursitis!

I know...
Breathtaking to Bursitis.
I cover an array of topics here.

Okay, seriously.
I haven't wanted to talk about my back because even I was starting to get tired of it.
But, I re-injured December 31 and haven't been able to be to boot camp since.
And it's driving me crazy.

And I'm just not healing.
Which is driving me crazier.
The pain and discomfort was different, though...like it wasn't just my back.
I finally got a diagnosis (and treatment) today.
The culprit?

Bursitis.

Now, I know what you're thinking...
"Bursitis? I'm pretty sure my grandpa has that."
And yes, it's often a problem in elbows and knees for "old people".
But, it can also happen in the shoulder and hip area (for me, it's my hip) for...

wait for it...

ATHLETES.
You know, people who engage in repetitive movement.
And who are super...athletic.

So, while I AM turning 40 (and thus getting older), I'm choosing to believe this little "issue" is a reflection of my athleticism.

I'm a runner.
And it's killing me not to be running.

But, not gonna lie...it also feels really pretty good that my biggest health problem right now is that I'm injured, not from reaching for the top shelf for a bag of chocolate chips, but from working out.

And even cooler that my frustration is that I'm having to lay low for a bit.
(I have to remind myself of that so I don't get discouraged.)

I know I'll be back at it.
And in the meantime?

Well, let's just say, my weight loss has not been the least bit deterred.

TAKE THAT, Bursitis!
Take. That.

Breathtaking

breath•tak•ing /ˈbreTHˌtākiNG/
Adj: Astonishing or awe-inspiring in quality, so as to take one's breath away.

I had a little "rootbeer float" date last night (sometimes that's all a girl needs).
With a boy I hadn't seen for a while.
It was good to just get all caught up.
It felt good.
I felt good.

And you know what?
I've been feeling really good lately.
Like really good.
(rough week not withstanding)

*The kind of good where you're comfortable enough in your own skin to let a cute boy stop by your house at 10pm when you're in your pajamas and your make-up is off and you have iridescent eye cream on.

*The kind of good where you realize you're 4 weeks from your 40th birthday and you're totally okay.

*The kind of good where you don't need people to know your credentials in order to feel like you matter.

*The kind of good where you finally know what it's like to not think of yourself as the "bigger girl" in a room.

*The kind of good where though you aren't where you thought you'd be, you're oh-so-close and it just feels oh-so-good.

So, when we parted with a little good-bye last night and he turned to tell me I was "breathtaking", well, I had this odd sensation of believing it was true.

And I loved that, while I knew I looked good (probably better than I've ever looked because though I've been smaller, I've never been healthier...I've never been more "me"), I knew it wasn't about how I looked.

I knew it was about who I am.
And an indication of how far I've come.

I've thought about it all day.

I wish I could invite you over to read my journals.
...oh, I had some sad dark days in the past.
I wish I could somehow show you the history of my head.
...and how long I lived with false beliefs about myself.
I wish you knew me well enough to know how much time I spent thinking I was anything BUT "good enough"
...let alone astonishing or awe-inspiring.

If you read...
If you saw...
If you knew...
well, you'd cry with me a little.
The kind of happy tears that follow the awareness of the miracle and the heart-overflowing with gratitude...
at me.

"Astonishing"
"Awe-inspiring"
Coming to know herself
Me.

THAT is what is breathtaking, my friends.
Literally.
Not this life of mine.
Not how I look.
But, how far I've come in how I see myself.
How far God's brought me to see the truth of who He created me to be.
How much He's done for me to get me (and my head) to this place.

I'm amazed.
I'm so very grateful.
That it takes my breath away.

Breathtaking?
Yep.
Breathtaking.

Who knew one little rootbeer float could do so much good?
(image found here)

What really matters

I had a really rough day this past week.
It *might* have had something to do with the fact I was at the office on that particular day for 13 hours.
Or *maybe* it had something to do with the fact that I had to have a difficult conversation that required me to be a grown up.
But *probably* it was because the entire day forced me to take a look at everything about my life that isn't my favorite.

When I was offered the job promotion last May, I cried for several days.
I knew I should be excited and grateful and honored.
The truth was, it felt like one more step up a ladder I never meant to get on.
I had a couple of heart-to-heart conversations with someone I trust who knows me well.
I needed someone to tell me this wasn't a life sentence as a "career girl".

But, I also feared how it would look...
to people in my life...
to future dates...
to colleagues at work.

I feared what people would think...
about my priorities...
about my ambitions...
about what I valued.

I feared the judgments and the assumptions.
I feared what would follow when I had to make hard decisions that involved people I cared about.

I know it shouldn't matter what others think or say...but sometimes it really does.

The bottom line, though...
the reason I accepted...
the reason I said "yes"...
was because I knew it was right.

It was a tremendous opportunity; one I knew I had been prepared to take on.
And, honestly, I was sincerely and deeply grateful.
That if this is the phase of life I'm in,
that the Lord would be so good to me to let me do something I love.

However, that doesn't mean there aren't really hard days.
Moments when I can't breathe.
Times when I feel like a 13 yr old girl who knows darn well she doesn't have any business sitting at an executive table pretending she knows what she's talking about.

So, on this rough day this past week, when someone basically said to me all the things I feared would be said to me (or about me) or thought of me (or about me), well...
I kept myself composed while I needed to, and then, when I was alone...
I lost it.

It was after hours.
I was the only one at the office (or so I thought).
And I sat at my desk and cried.
The loud kind of crying.

I heard the elevator doors open.
"Please be the cleaning crew. Please be the cleaning crew."
In walked a colleague and I couldn't hide my breakdown.
I apologized she had to witness it, she was a voice of kindness on a dark day.
And then she said, "You're real! I like you more now that I know you're real."

Um, yes...I'm real...surely I'm honest enough here, that I'm real, right?
And HERE is what is real:
-I don't like introducing myself (or being introduced) by my title at work. I don't know why but you'll rarely hear me say it.
-This isn't what I wanted or worked for but I also am not ashamed of it.
-I love my job but it's not the love of my life.
-I don't want to be defined by my resume.
-The title(s) I'd rather be defined by? "Devoted wife. Amazing mom. Dearest friend."
-I cry sometimes when I'm alone at night at the office.
-I feel overwhelmed so much sometimes I can't breathe.
-I think my gut instinct about my work is right most of the time and sometimes I actually think I'm pretty darn smart.
-Many of my dearest friends are connected to me because of my work and I'm grateful I get to work with people I love so much.
-Even though many of the blessings I've wanted most have not yet come, I feel truly blessed.

This isn't what I chose.
And it's not what I choose.
I just simply believe it's where I'm supposed to be.
For now.

So, while I didn't mean to get on this ladder, it's the ladder I'm on.
And I trust that it's a ladder that eventually leads to what I want most.

I can't worry anymore about how it looks or what people might say or think.
Because I know my heart.
And I know God knows my heart.

And that is what really matters.
That's what matters.

#33? We can do better than that!

okay, friends...

We have until June 15th to get my friend DeAnn from #33 into the TOP TEN.

Oh, we have to...we just have to...

Will you help?

PLEASE?

SO, go here and look for "DeAnn Hansen".
THEN. VOTE.

EVERY. DAY. UNTIL. JANUARY. 15th.

And if you have people you know who would help, get them to do it too.
She's #33 for crying out loud.
Out of 124.
That means she really really has a shot at this.

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.
xoxo

Praying for others

Petitioning Heavenly Father
for the blessings we desire
in our personal lives
is good and proper.
However, praying earnestly for others...
is also an important element
of meaningful prayer.
...Praying for others
with all of the energy of our souls
increases our capacity
hear and to heed
the voice of the Lord.
Elder David Bednar



Is it possible that in praying for the needs of others to be met, our own needs will be better met as well?

Yes.
I am learning, yes.

And I noticed it the very first morning as I offered up a prayer for one of them.

This experience of uniting with some of my friends with intentional prayer has been sweet in many ways.
I've prayed for friends before.
I've even prayed with all my little heart before for them.

But never every day for 40 days for such a specific purpose, knowing we were united.

I find my mind and heart open to other people and other circumstances that need my attention and prayers. I feel the capacity of my heart increasing. I sense that I am more connected and more in tune. And not just to the needs of others. But to my own.

One morning, after praying for one of my friends, something so specific came into my mind that I needed to pray for for me. And, as I prayed, I felt a stronger understanding of the voice of the Lord in my own life. I felt a greater clarity about a matter in my life right now.

And I wondered how my mind and heart would have heard that on their own.
I wonder...

There is power in praying for one another.
Praying earnestly for each other.

I believe it does something that doesn't happen quite the same way, any other way.

And the winners are...

And the winners of the give-away for DeAnn...I really need to do those more often...I forgot how much fun they are...through a high-tech system wherein I wrote people's names on pieces of paper and drew them with my eyes closed are:

$50 Target Gift Card: Manda
EVERY STEP cd: Becky
2011 TOFW TOUR dvd: Terri & Heather (I decided to give away two)

Email me at laurelDOTchristensenATgmailDOTcom with your mailing address and I'll get that taken care of this week.

And please remember to KEEP VOTING until JUNE 15th

40: Preparation for Promises

I've been reflecting a bit the last few days.
And I've remembered that when I turned 30, I finally felt like myself.
And I finally felt like myself because I really think my spirit was 30 from the time I was born.
No...really...I really do.

I had a fascination with news programs at an early age.
I'd come home from elementary school and watch Phil Donahue (seriously. I remember the show that Barbara Smith appeared on to talk about the ERA. I was eight.)
While other girls my age were reading Flowers in the Attic (the 1980s version of the Twilight series), I was reading memoirs like Life & Death in Shanghai (adorable, wasn't I?)
I discovered Barry Manilow at age 10 for crying out loud.

So, I felt fairly normal about turning 30.

But, still, I was anxious as my birthday approached. It seemed so...old.
And so, to be helpful, a dear friend reminded me that Jesus began his ministry at the age of 30. In other words, His whole life was preparing for that important age. I loved knowing that. And I felt like it was true in my own life.

And the truth is, turning 30 felt great.
Because it felt like I was ready.

Well, I think I'm feeling much the same way about "40".

I always thought if I was still single, still child-less at 40 (oh, who am I kidding. I never actually thought I'd still be single and child-less at 40), it would be a dreaded birthday...a difficult birthday...a depressing birthday.

Yet, here I am, 37 days from my 40th birthday and it feels neither dreaded nor difficult nor depressing.

I admit I have some hopes about who I want to be with on the actual day (yep, that's me throwing out the smallest most unhelpful of hints just in case someone is reading...).

But, what I'm realizing is that my 40th birthday will be less about what I'm doing on that day and much more about what I've done to get to that day.

Or rather, what HE has done to get me to this day.

In the scriptures, one of the strongest shadows used is the relationship between "forty" as a means of preparation followed by a fulfillment of promises.

Did you read that?

THE. FULFILLMENT. OF. PROMISES.

Just a few examples of how the number 40 is used to represent a period of testing or preparation (thanks to the help of our friend, the worldwideweb)...but followed by the fulfillment of promises.
Always promises:

The rains (in Noah's day) fell for 40 days and nights (Genesis 7:4). Israel ate Manna for 40 years (Exodus 16:35). Moses was with God in the mount, 40 days and nights (Exodus 24:18). Moses led Israel from Egypt at age 80 (2 times 40), and after 40 years in the wilderness, died at 120 (3 times 40; Deuteronomy 34:7). God made Israel wander for 40 years (Numbers 14:33-34). Goliath presented himself to Israel for 40 days (1 Samuel 17:16). Elijah had one meal that gave him strength 40 days (1 Kings 19:8). God gave Nineveh 40 days to repent (Jonah 3:4). Jesus fasted 40 days and nights (Matthew 4:2). Jesus was tempted 40 days (Luke 4:2, Mark 1:13). Jesus remained on earth 40 days after resurrection (Acts 1:3).

As I approach this 40th birthday, I don't think it's any accident I was invited to dedicate my little heart and my grateful spirit to intentional prayer for 40 days.

I have spent my life in preparation for the fulfillment of promises I truly believe God "is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them". (Bible Dictionary)

And so I'm asking.
Really asking.

And you know what?
I'm really looking forward to this milestone.
And I love that it's not because of a grand trip (oh, I had plans for one!)
or checking things off a bucket list (I had that too).
It is simply because, through the marvelous gift and power of prayer, I am discovering I have been prepared to be EXACTLY where the Lord knew I'd be...

...because He's been preparing me, for forty years, to be right where I am.
And I believe He's been preparing me for the fulfillment of promises.
His Promises.

How could I possibly ask for anything more?


(image found here)

PS. Don't forget to VOTE FOR DeANN. She needs the votes EVERY DAY until Jan. 15th!

Good Deed = Good FREE stuff for YOU!

My dear friend, DeAnn, did something really really brave for this new year.

She let some of her friends "encourage" her to make a video and enter it into the "YEAR OR YOU" contest.

If she wins, she'll get to experience Fitness Ridge this year.
I know too well what this can do for a person.

And DeAnn deserves this.
She's ready for it.
I SO want this for her.

You might not know DeAnn (a shame, really) but watch her video and you'll know everything you need to know.

And then PLEASE VOTE for her and encourage others you know on facebook and on your blogs to vote for her.

SO, go here and look for "DeAnn Hansen".
THEN. VOTE.

Need more incentive than just the good feelings you'll have for doing a good deed?

I'm doing a giveaway!
(it's been way too long since I did one)

Leave a message here letting me know you voted.
AND if you somehow helped spread the word to let others know you voted, let me know that too.
You'll get one entry for each good deed.

What's the prize?
The first prize everyone will get just for entering is this amazing feeling knowing you helped DeAnn. Really. That's a great prize.

But, I'll be giving away:

a $50 gift card to my favorite store...that would be TARGET. That I hope you'll use to somehow enjoy THE YEAR OF YOU for YOU! (a new workout outfit or weights or yoga dvds...whatever makes you happy).












an EVERY STEP cd from HILARY WEEKS that has some of the best "come on, you can do it! you can change your life this year" songs I've ever experienced.














a TIME OUT FOR WOMEN 2011 TOUR dvd that includes my "The Faith Experiment" message on it (and a whole lotta other great messages).
















This is a serious giveaway because I'm super serious about this.
Really I am.

SO...
Ready? GO! VOTE
(and spread the word about DeAnn and you can even spread the word about this giveaway on my blog so we have even more people spreading the word).

Comments about your good deed must be submitted by midnight Saturday, January 7th.

Winners will be announced Sunday night, January 8th.

GOOD LUCK!
(and thanks, truly, for helping this important effort)

Ring in the new

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light:
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

-Alfred Tennyson

We sang this hymn in church today.
I was so hoping we would.
It makes me cry every time.

New Years Eve.
The turning of a calendar to a new year.
It means something to me. It really does.
I'm a bit of a sentimental girl, I suppose.

And I've had years that were easier to say good-bye to than others.
I've had January Firsts that I just couldn't wake up to fast enough.

But this was not one of those years.

2011 will forever be the year my life turned a corner.
A real legitimate corner.

Now, I'm not so naive to think I don't have other corners to turn.
But, this year was one of those significant points in my life where I was invited to change and I took it. And I shudder to think what might have happened...or what might *not* have happened...if I hadn't accepted the invitation. I truly believe the course of my life would be different. I really really do.

So as much as I'm looking forward to all that lies ahead (and I am. I really am.),
it is with a bit of sadness that I let this past year go.

Because the world you know sometimes feels safer than the world you don't.
And I know the world of 2011 really really well now.
And, well, I'm going to miss it.

Dear 2011: I love you. From the bottom of my little heart, thank you.
(read the recap here)

Dear 2012: What do you say we give this a go? I'm ready to ring in the new.
Really. I'm ready.
xoxo

(image found here)