live as if

Principle #1: Feel Your Feet
Principle #2: Trust the Math

And now...

Principle #3: LIVE AS IF 

This principle started more than a decade ago when I first came in contact with Wendy Watson Nelson. I shared a little bit of that a couple of years ago.

She planted seeds inside my head and heart that sprang into a much needed truth for me this past year.

You might remember a post a did about this time last year about a little "ah ha" in 1 Nephi 5.
You can read the full post here.

But, here's a recap:

The prophet Lehi has sent his sons back to Jerusalem to get the family records and scriptures. The boys haven't returned and Lehi's wife Sariah is certain the boys have perished. She is certain.
And she's mad. Really mad.

Lehi's response is interesting to me.
He reminds his wife he had a vision and never would have left Jerusalem had he not had the vision. He was simply following the Lord.
And in all the times I have read that chapter, I have never noticed his next choice of words.

His past-tense choice of words.

"I have obtained a land of promise, in the which things I do rejoice..." (vrs. 5)

Did you catch that?

Lehi is in the wilderness.
They have yet to journey to, let alone arrive in, the land of promise he was, well, promised.
And yet, he talks as if he is already there.
As if the Lord has already given it to him.

Oh I love that.

And do you want to know why?

Read some of the cross references: 1 Kings 8:56 and Ephesians 1:11.

Lehi trusted that God keeps His promises.
He trusted that God's promises were set in motion long ago.
And if God keeps His promises that were set in motion long ago, Lehi could live as if God already had kept this particular promise.

I think we can do that too.

A couple of years ago after a heartbreaking disappointment, I received a beautiful blessing at the hand of a dear friend. He said:"The Lord's timeframe for you has been in place for you this whole time. And it is still in place."

Do you believe that?
Do you believe your life is exactly where the Lord knew it would be?

If that is true, and I believe it is, than I can also believe that there is an "end date" to any period of waiting. And just because we do not know what that date is, we can take comfort in the fact that God does. I like to think it's on His calendar.
Circled.
In red.

And so, if the "end date" is already determined, you can choose to live as if that end date is already here.

What would you do differently if you knew the end date was in place?
How would you live your life right now if you could trust your waiting period was going to come to an end...
in a month
in 6 months
in a year.

If you knew your son was going to have an experience that was going to turn him around...
If you knew a needed healing was on its way...
If you knew your husband was going to wake up in three weeks and decide to go to church with you...

What would you do differently now if you could believe the end date was already in the works.

Because there IS an end date.
Your "waiting" will end.
So, choose to live as if it already has.

Just try it.
Even if you can only "live as if" for a week...try it.

I think you'll be amazed at what it does for you.

so good

With the exception of three doctor appointments, I haven't seen any of the world for 12 days.
12 days is such a long time to not see the world.

So, today, after working (albeit from home) for 3 hours, I took a little (or ridiculously long) nap and then got taken on a little drive up one of my favorite little spots anywhere.

Mill Creek Canyon.

He held my hand while we listened to some of our favorite songs and took in our favorite season.

He stopped from time to time to take pictures.
I sat in the car and just took it all in.
It was so quiet.
And it was so lovely.

My mom is gone.
I still have mono.
I'm tired more than anyone ever should be.
And I want to be all better faster than I will be.
But, I am not alone.
And I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
It's fall, for crying out loud.
That means good things are in store.
Really good things.

I was reminded today that the world still exists.
And the world looks oh so right.
It's in my favorite of all seasons.
There is something oh so good about that.
So good.

not cute mono

I have mono.
And not just any form of mono.
Acute mono.
But there is nothing "cute" about it.

I don't recall ever being this sick.
And by last Thursday morning (after having survived one of the longest worst nights of my life), I was one sad and discouraged little girl.

I hadn't cried though.
Even when I was in too much pain to swallow.
Even when my Dr said, "this is one of the worst things you could have."
Even when I heard her say, "6 weeks to recover" and felt overwhelmed by all that would mean.
Even then...I didn't cry.

But, when, during a texting conversation Thursday morning (because I seriously couldn't talk and be understood; my throat was THAT swollen) my mom told me she was flying in that night to take care of me, I cried like I hadn't cried in a really long time.

I was suddenly 3 year old Laurel who could only be comforted by her mommy.
Oh, I needed her.

It's been a rough week.
It's been painful and exhausting and discouraging and frustrating and tiring.
And, the truth is, I have a bit of a recovery ahead of me.
Which is enough to make me want to curl up in the fetal position if I let myself think about it.
(yes, I realize this is a good time when "Feel Your Feet" will come in real real handy. I hate it when I have the resources I need at my fingertips...)

But I have felt the power of prayers and the restoration of soul that comes from loving kindness.
I have felt cared for and supported by friends who check in (and came to clean my bathroom before we knew how contagious I was). 
I have felt strengthened by a priesthood blessing and the concern of a good man who loves me.

AND...
I have been taken care of in a way only a mommy can take care of her little girl.
And I couldn't be more grateful.

Thanks, Mom.
I. love. you.
More than I can express and more than would ever be appropriate to say on this public space.
And I will try to be a big girl and not cry when you leave.
And I will be real real good and get myself better.
Promise.

Oh, and to all you moms who sacrifice so much for your children...
It's a sacred work. And you amaze me.
xoxo

the $94 ice cream sandwiches

(we interrupt the sharing of the "waiting principles" to bring you this delightful story.)

It's no secret that I've been known to not be totally smart when it comes to spending money.
Like that one time in China I bought "hamster pellets" for $194.
Remember that?

Bless my heart.

And it's also no secret that I enjoy few things more than spending a ridiculous amount of money on really yummy food. I'm a sucker for using money on life experiences like that.

And so, when I found out the man in my life (what? did someone say there is a man in my life? did I just say that out loud? was my mic on?) felt the same way, I thought it was awesome; but I confess to also thinking, "sure you say you do...but there's no way you really actually would really do what I would do when it comes to enjoying spending ridiculous amounts of money on really yummy food.'

Oh, how wrong I was.

Enter Cool Haus...
a food truck that serves the MOST UNBELIEVABLE $6 gourmet ice cream sandwiches you have ever had in your whole entire life.

Seriously.
I do not have words for the sensory experience of devouring one of these yummy concoctions.

Just thinking about it now it making my right salivary gland salivate (it's always a little more excited than my left one. I don't know why.)

We discovered them last weekend whilst enjoying a lovely afternoon in Central Park.

Here's how it works:
STEP 1: You choose your two cookies (and they don't have to be the same). The flavors range from chocolate chip to red velvet to smores to potato chip & butterscotch (that would be one flavor...not two).
STEP 2: Then you choose your ice cream flavor (and you can't mix this...but don't think I didn't try). The ice cream marvels include things like salted chocolate and key lime pie and fried chicken & waffles (true story) and blood orange cranberry.

This is the board that tells you all the flavors of cookies & ice creams you can choose from. OH. MY.

 This is the cute guy who let us try as many flavors as we wanted to.

 Here are our creations.

One of us chose red velvet cookies with blood orange cranberry ice cream (that might have been "the man" and it might have been ridiculously good) and the other one of us chose a smores cookie and a potato chip & butterscotch cookie with salted chocolate ice cream (and that might have been me and it might have made me weep openly).

Now...I know what you're thinking...

"Wow. $6 for an ice cream sandwich? Who does that? And why on earth did she title this post 'the $94 ice cream sandwiches' if really they spent $12?"

Well, my friends, this is where the story gets awesome...

(there is a voice in my head that is telling me not to share this story but I so just have to. I have to.)

Monday was the last day for our little weekend trip (that included the US Open and the 911 Memorial and a beautiful broadway play...more coming later...) and for various and sundry reasons, we had things we had to do that ate away at most of our time and we found ourselves at 2:00 in the afternoon a ways away from the city with a driver coming at 5:00 to take us to the airport.

And we hadn't really "done" anything.

And you can't leave on your last day in NYC without doing something ridiculous, right?

Enter "the man" who called a car service to come pick us up to drive back down to Central Park to wait for us to find the food truck and order ice cream sandwiches and sit on a bench and eat them before getting back into the car and driving back to the place we needed to be to meet the other car to take us to the airport.

The cost of the transportation? ..... $82

The cost of the sandwiches? ......... $12

The total cost of the experience? ...$94

Finding someone on the planet who thinks doing that made perfect sense? .... Priceless.

 

 new yummy combinations that made me want to weep openly again even though my face is saying, "we are so silly and I love it."

How much do you love that?
(and how many of you just lost all respect for my sensibility?)

There you have it.
The delightful story of the ridiculously priced gourmet ice cream sandwiches.

And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming...i.e. the rest of the "waiting principles"...

(And, yes. I do realize the pictures are strategically cropped as if I'm hiding something...er, someone...patience, people. Patience.)

trust the math

Principle #2: TRUST THE MATH.

The last time I went to take some clothes in to the tailor (no one ever talks about how expensive it is to lose weight), the cute woman who was pinning my pants said, "Wow. You've really lost weight. What have you done?"

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked. Then I looked around and whispered, "I'm doing this crazy plan where I exercise more and I eat less."

"Shoot. Is that really the key?"

"Sorry. But, yes. It really is that simple."

It's true. 

As much as I hate to admit it.

The math works.

I learned at Fitness Ridge that weight loss, for the most part, really is a basic math issue.
Calories Out - Calories In = Weight Loss or Gained

And it totally works.

If my spreadsheet (when I'm being good and tracking) says I'll be down 2.2 pounds, I'm down 2.2 pounds. When it says I'll be up 1.5, I am.

It doesn't always show up right when it should, but eventually it shows up.
It has to.
Because the math works.

It's an eternal principle.

God's math works too.

"I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, 

ye have no promise."

(Doctrine & Covenants 82:10)

When we do what He says (calories in), He is bound to do what He says He will do (calories out) and we are blessed (weight loss).

It might not happen exactly when the spreadsheet says it should.
BUT, eventually, it all shows up.
I love knowing that.


When you are waiting, you might not feel like you have control over very many things.
...God's timing...other's agency...variables that are out of your area of stewardship...
BUT, you do have control over YOUR actions...
YOUR obedience that qualifies you for blessings and personal revelation to assist you during your time of waiting.

It's an eternal truth that the math works.
I think sometimes we try to make it complicated.
But, it's not.
It's simple.
That doesn't make everything EASY...but it does help make a whole lot of things more clear.
You can trust that.

 

feel your feet

I have fallen in love with the message that I share at TOFW this year.
I suppose that could sound odd (or worse, prideful)...
But, I need to tell you why.

On a Saturday morning in January, when my world seemed to be falling apart, the entire message was given to me. The entire thing. Every bit of it. It came from things I've studied and prayed about...so it didn't come out of thin air. But, it was laid out so clearly to me that I still can't believe it.

I knew that the Lord was giving me a message for ME...one I really needed. And I was a little sad because I felt like it was his way of saying that I was going to be in the place I was in for a while.

And then a couple weeks later, everything in my life seemed to sort itself out and I thought, "how wonderful that I can give this message on the tour this year and not be in the middle of the message anymore." Now, you have to know that even actually thinking that was in contrast the spirit of the very message I was sharing, but I thought it nonetheless.

And so I gave the message a few times and I gave it with my heart but I also gave it having not completely lived all of the principles...well, because I thought I didn't need them anymore.

Then April came and everything fell apart again and I found myself desperate to survive in this new place I found myself and my heart and my spirit in.

And what got me through that time?
And what got me to the place I'm at today (which is the sweetest place my life has ever been and I promise I'll share more one of these days. I promise promise.)?

That darn TOFW message of mine.

What Are You Waiting For?

Do you ever feel like you're waiting for a new opportunity or a new week (or a new year)? And    while you're waiting, it seems that life is on hold? Although the scriptures invite us to “wait patiently for the Lord” (Psalm 40:1), nowhere do they tell us to sit while we’re waiting. There are things life can’t wait for you to do and that you aren’t expected to wait for—even while you might have to wait on the Lord for a time. 

I share four principles as part of the talk...four truths that I believe help us in our waiting...four truths that help us to find joy and meaning and fulfillment during the waiting...four truths that help us in our times when we are pretty sure we can't wait (or hold on) one more minute.

They are powerful truths.
At least for me.


It is a sweet thing for me to be able to say that I know them more intimately and more passionately now than I did back in January. The Lord had things to teach me and He was preparing me to be taught.

So...I thought I'd share the summary points with you here...in preparation for sharing some sweet details of my life in my current "waiting". I just think you'll enjoy more where I am if you understand a bit better where I've been. And what I've been learning and living.

Ready?

Principle #1: FEEL YOUR FEET. 

When I decided to really become a runner at Fitness Ridge December 2010, one of the first principles my trainer taught me was this profound and simple truth: feel your feet.

"Pay attention to every single time your feet strike. Feel every step you take. If you focus on that, you won't be able to focus on anything else."

And it was so true. If I paid attention to the feeling of my feet hitting the treadmill, I found that there was no room for any other thoughts. It forced me to stay in the present...not belaboring how far I still had to go...but just being aware of where I was in the moment. And I discovered something really important: By focusing on the current steps, I was able to avoid being overwhelmed at how far I had yet to run. I actually ran farther by not thinking the time left or the "finish line".

There were days last Spring when I would wake up in such desperation, realizing I had to face another day of sadness (you'll have to read back April/May if you want to know what was going on...even though I never really talked about what was going on...I'm vague like that). I was certain that the dream I had for my life was never going to come to pass. Every part of the world I had envisioned seemed to be crumbled around me and I was lost. And sad. So sad. I felt overwhelmed by my heartbreak and  I couldn't imagine surviving one more day. I know that sounds dramatic. But, truly, that sadness and disappointment was that deep. My heart was struggling to make sense of God's plan and will for my life.

And one of the scriptures that I clung to was this simple truth:

"Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?"

(Mormon 5:23)

I had to choose to believe He was taking care of me. I had to choose not to think about or worry about a future that I feared. I had to choose to focus on experiencing the day that was ahead...the very moment I was in. I focused an hour at a time...literally. I lived in the present. I had to.

And I am convinced it helped me heal and survive a "waiting".

Life is meant to be lived NOW...not lived in some dream of tomorrow or in some wishing things were otherwise from yesterday. Don't get so wrapped up in worrying about a future that may or may not even come to pass that you miss the beauty of life in the present. You are in God's hands. Your feet are on a path He has designed. Feel the truth of that. And...
FEEL. YOUR. FEET.

(image found here)